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Linda Ranson Jacobs is one of the forefront leaders in the areas of children and divorce and single-parent family needs. More about Linda |
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Equipping local churches for ministry to the children of divorce. |
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Have you ever wondered why some kids who attend your children’s program on a weeknight seem tired, grouchy, or maybe a little out of control after school starts in the fall? It might be the schedule they had to keep that day. When school starts, these kids are expected to survive an unbelievable daily schedule. When elementary-age children from a divorced home have Read more…
When parents divorce, children are more likely to lose their connections with those around them. Many of us in know that children are born to connect. We have observed and watched as children become disconnected. Many problems facing young people today are due in large part to our failure to meet the children’s most basic human need for connectedness. Divorce brings many changes Read more…
Today’s post is by guest writer Linda Alderfer. Linda is the DC4K (DivorceCare for Kids) ministry coach for churches that have purchased the DC4K kit and for those with questions about starting DC4K. Linda’s inspiring story brings attention to the excitement churches can experience when starting such a vital and needed program for the hurting children in all of our communities. Read more…
Many children of divorce live hectic and frenzied lives. This is partly due to the fact that they live in two separate homes have two different sets of rules experience different schedules have different rituals have different people in the home The stress factor is another reason their minds are filled with chaos. Too much stress can confuse us as adults so imagine Read more…
Most of us who minister to children recognize that children’s earliest impressions of God are related to the relationship they have with their own parents. Several studies indicate this is particularly true of the father-child relationship. In other words, how a child relates to his earthly father and how he interacts with his daddy shape the child’s image of Father God. We Read more…
Summer is almost over in many places. You probably have a lot of kids getting excited about the new school year. You are going to see kids wearing some of their new clothes to church. You might see some of them experimenting with a new backpack or notebook. You’ll hear talk of who gets what teacher and how excited they are or Read more…
When my husband had cancer, our church group poured into our lives emotionally and spiritually. They prayed for us and laid hands on us as they prayed with us. They brought in food. They sent cards of well-wishes. His cancer treatment was in another town, and he had to be hospitalized ninety miles from our home. Our friends handed me cash to Read more…
You might be surprised to find children of divorce in your church. It might mean one has to look differently for children of divorce and in places you might not have considered. For example, ever thought about children in two-parent families being from a divorce? If you have any blended or step family situations then more than likely you have children of Read more…
In a previous article we talked about how to help grandparents prepare their home for grandkids who come to stay. This post will discuss the financial issues these grandparent face when the grandkids come to live with them and how you, the church, can help these families. There are many reasons grandkids come to live with grandparents. Some of these situations include Read more…
I grew up in Bartlesville, OK. I have heard about tornadoes my entire life. I owned two child care programs in OK for over twenty-five years. As a kid I remember going into the hallways at school and putting my hands over my head while crouched down on my knees. In childcare we practiced relentlessly with the children. The fire department recommended Read more…
My first answer to the question above is not nearly enough! DC4K was released twelve years ago and to date a little 3,700 churches have been equipped with the DC4K materials. That is almost one church a day that has been equipped with a DC4K kit. Many churches will run several 13-week sessions in a year. We know thousands of children are having Read more…
You are already REALLY busy with your children’s ministry responsibilities (not to mention your life outside church). How you could possibly contribute to lives of the single parents in your church when you may be feeling overwhelmed yourself? It’s not as hard as you think. You don’t have to do it alone. Pray about what God wants from you. Maybe He wants Read more…
It’s hard to understand all of the issues involved in parental alienation. We’ve learned parental alienation is real. It hurts to the core of parenting. It devastates the parent-child relationship. It is a very difficult concept for church leaders to understand and even harder to encourage the alienated parent. Alienated parents very much need the church family to walk alongside them during this Read more…
In the article Parental alienation—is it real? we defined what parental alienation is and how to help the children affected by it. Another part of effectively ministering to the child is ministering to the parent. Parental alienation is a family issue, and everyone in the family is affected in one way or another. In order to help you better understand the parent’s issue, Read more…
People often ask me why I created DC4K or DivorceCare for Kids. There are many reasons; hundreds of them, and they all have a name. They are boys and girls that I have known and worked with down through the years. The top 3 reasons I created DC4K, DivorceCare for Kids are: Reason #1 Approximately one million children a year see the Read more…
My introduction to parental alienation was several years ago. A mom’s ex-husband was constantly telling us all about his ex’s bad traits. If that wasn’t bad enough, when the child returned from visitation with the dad, he was caustic toward his mother. To be honest with you, I got confused about whom to believe and was basically clueless about how to handle Read more…
Many children’s ministers and church volunteers will notice there are some children that seem to drop out over the summer months. Perhaps these are children who miss periodically but this summer you haven’t seen them for four or five weeks. These might very well be the children of divorce. Many divorced parents take advantage of summer months to have their children come Read more…
As a children’s minister or church leader, you may be wondering why you would need to understand the single-parent land mine of dating. I mean, is this topic one that is greatly going to affect your ministry? The answer is a loud YES! And you want to know why it can affect your ministry? Because normally when a single parent starts Read more…
Our guest blogger today is Dr. Linda Mintle. Linda is also one of the experts on our DivorceCare series. The tips Linda shares are great tips for children’s ministers to pass forward to the single parents. Thank you Linda for sharing with us today. 10 Tips for Vacation Planning for Children of Divorce By Dr. Linda Mintle Summer and holidays can be a Read more…
Most of us think of grandparents as the special people who spoil the grandkids, fill them full of candy, and then send them home for mommy and daddy to deal with when they are all hyped up on sugar. In our day and age, however, many grandparents don’t have the luxury of being those special people who fill the kids up on Read more…
Summer is here, and recently I’ve been doing my early morning walk on the beach. In our part of the country we have a beach restoration project going on. This project involves ships, pipes 4 feet in diameter, tractors, backhoes, and other equipment needed to dredge the sand off the bottom of the ocean and pump it up onto the beach. It’s Read more…
This week our church has had Vacation Bible School, or as it is known in church circles “VBS.” Rooms throughout the church are decorated from top to bottom. Teachers have been trained. Supplies, snacks and treats are ready to go. Music videos have been practiced, and the gospel has been adequately presented. Every day kids come in with big smiles on their Read more…
Riley has just started attending your church. She seems to be a happy kid. She talks freely about her mom and dad and even mentions them in the same sentence at times, as in, “My mom and dad both like that new restaurant.” So you are surprised when one day Riley says something about her dad’s house. You go to your files and Read more…
Have you ever given any thought to military families? How about the kids in the divorced military family? I can hear many of you saying, We don’t have a military base close to us. Or I think the base near us handles those issues. No military base in your area? While you might not have a military base close to your church, you Read more…
They arrive at your church clutching their grandparents’ hands. These are the children whose parents are at war with each other. The grandparents are sensitive to the needs of the grandchildren, even if the parents might not be. Or it could be that the newly divorced parent is simply overwhelmed, and the grandparents are standing in the gap by bringing their grandchildren to Read more…
When I’m at children’s ministers conferences I hear many refer to Deuteronomy 6:6–8. They usually explain the importance of parents being responsible to disciple their children based on this Scripture. I think most of us assume parents have the greatest influence on their children. While I agree with that idea, I wonder if we aren’t assuming all children live in a loving, Read more…
Ever wonder why that kid who only comes every other week has a parent that never seems to know what is going on? They appear frazzled all the time. It is because there is just too much happening in his or her personal life. They are frazzled single parents. Single parents are strong people. They have to be in order to survive. However, Read more…
Several of you dealing with children of divorce who don’t want to visit the other parent requested this particular subject. One children’s church leader reported that after a visit to the other parent’s home, “The kids come back to us shut down, nontalkative, and in need of love.” She went on to report another family’s situation, “Another set of my kids love their Read more…
Allow me to ask you some of questions. Did you see any single mothers in your church on Mother’s Day? Did you take a few minutes to look around for a single mom sitting alone in your midst? Do you know why the single moms were not in church on such a special day? For many single moms Mother’s Day is the worst Read more…
How are you honoring the moms of kids in single parent families in your church? Single moms are wonderful caring and hard working people. Celebrate them. Honor them and love on them this Mother’s Day. And remember some single mom’s won’t have their children with them on Mother’s Day. For those moms Mother’s Day is a painful reminder that they parent alone. Ask Read more…
The choices you make today in ministering to children of divorce can affect them for the rest of their lives. If the child of divorce finds….. Attention from church leaders, it might very well prevent that teen girl from getting pregnant. Value at church, it might prevent that teen boy from committing suicide. Someone who cares for them at church, it might prevent Read more…
Have you ever had a class or group and all was going well until …….. that one child walked through the doors? You know what I’m talking about. It’s the child that seems to bring a tornado into the room with them leaving a path of destruction all along the way. You may ask What causes a child to be a whirlwind kid? Read more…
For years I have been under the impression that reconciliation for divorced couples was the ultimate success story. I’ve whooped and hollered when a divorcing couple has reconciled. I’ve patted them on the back, high-fived the wife, and given the husband a fist bump. So why would I even hint that reconciliation might be hurtful for the kids? Because I’ve seen how Read more…
Don’t think divorce hurts kids? Think again. Of all the ways a divorce negatively impacts a child’s life, the impact on their religious life may be the most detrimental of all. Church attendance and participation in church activities can be particularly cumbersome and tricky. Research shows most single parents drop out of church shortly after the divorce. While a child may want to Read more…
Life for a child of divorce is difficult! A church leader approached me with the following situation. “I have a wonderful Christian single mom in our church who is devastated, and I don’t know how to help. She has done everything to provide for and create a happy Christian home for her kids. The other day her son asked to go live with Read more…
Dreams are made to be chased relentlessly (Philip Gillespie) You may remember being a child and being outside running through the tall grass or climbing a tree and your mind being filled with all kinds of ideas and dreams. Think about the feeling of freedom your dreams brought to you. I remember just sitting on the porch of our old farmhouse. I would Read more…
There she sat at a fast-food restaurant, single mom alone with her daughter. The place was mostly empty. A worker was mopping the floor, and the little girl was fascinated with his chore. Her mom was glued to her cell phone. The little girl’s dinner sat at the table, untouched except for a few french fries she’d poke in her mouth as she Read more…
Afraid of making a mistake with the child of divorce? Many children’s leaders have shared that they tend to hold back or shy away from children of divorce simply because they are afraid of making things worse for the child. Next time you face such fears, think to yourself, “How much worse can anything be than to watch the two people in Read more…
Hear what kids of divorce have to say about spring break. In my area of the country, it is officially spring break time. By that, I mean all the college kids are coming to our area to enjoy the beaches. Families are flocking to our area to celebrate spring in the warm sunshine. In the news media when you hear about spring break, Read more…
How does a church, which focuses on traditional family ministry, minister to the child of divorce? This seems to be the question many churches are wrestling with as they try to define exactly what family ministry looks like. Divorcing families have indeed changed the landscape of what families look like within the church. Several years ago Amy Ziettlow and Elizabeth Marquardt, with the Read more…
Many children will hear about the recent attacks or other frightening events such as widespread fires, weather-related events, or horrific events experienced in other places. Parents will be struggling about what to say and how much to say. Having owned a child care facility in Oklahoma during the time of the Oklahoma City bombing, I would like to share some tips we Read more…
Training church leaders and volunteers is becoming critical if we want to address some of the more unusual situations and needs of children and families in our communities. It’s also important to educate ourselves on the many societal issues surrounding the children in our midst. The post “Mommy says Daddy has a girlfriend” discussed how to react and what to say and not Read more…
It is important for anyone living with or working with the child of divorce to understand the long-term legacies of divorce on children. As a single parent, grandparent, mentor or church leader, you can help an individual child to better cope and potentially even lessen the impact of a particular long-term legacy. Your input today may help lessen the severity of the Read more…
Faith-based resources to help church leaders minister effectively. Gender confusion, gender nonconformity, gender discordance, donor kids, gay and lesbian issues—these are real-life struggles that children are observing in their own families, even with their own parents. The better you understand the many issues surrounding these families, the better you’re equipped to help. As Christian leaders we must stay in tune with what Read more…
A spiritual war rages over each and every child. It is above us and beyond us and engages the full fury of the hosts of both heaven and hell. Children may be ignored by government, church and mission – but not by Satan or God Almighty.” Dr. Wess Stafford in “Too Small to Ignore” Will children of divorce in your community turn toward Read more…
Have you ever wondered if as adults we talk too much to children who are misbehaving? We explain, rationalize and think they are listening. However, most children will tune you out after a few seconds. The following tips will help you to use fewer words but still positively impact a child’s behavior. Preventative measures work best. Know in advance what you want the kids Read more…
How to respond when a child discloses a shocker. Families are rapidly changing in our world today. Fewer than half the children under eighteen years of age live in a home with the two married birth parents. Many of these two-parent birth families as well as other kinds of families experience dysfunction with moral and worldly issues. The children in these situations Read more…
Chinese proverb One generation plants the trees; another gets the shade. American proverb One generation gets a divorce; another gets to live in the shadows of confusion, loss of a marriage model, loss of trust in relationships, haphazard church involvement and the experience of living in fractured families.
Several years ago I had a single mom show up at my house late one evening. She had left the husband that day, taken the kids and a few belongings and had checked into a local hotel. The precious 4th grade little girl looked bewildered. When I asked her what she thought about what was happening she said, “I am sooo confused. Somebody Read more…
Many have coined the time when children go from one home to another the “switching hour”. Evon Flesberg was the first expert to write about the switching hour in her book, “The Switching Hour, Kids of Divorce Say Good-Bye Again”[1]. I’ve watched children for years deal with this issue of switching back and forth between homes. Evon brings up an interesting point when Read more…
After interviewing adult children of divorce I’ve learned they really want support and understanding in their church today. Even though many may have dropped out of church as a child, they know they want a relationship with Christ. Many of them want to serve in the church or in the least attend on a regular basis. Here are just a few of the Read more…
Divorce has life long consequences. If a person was young when their parents divorced they have had to face processing several childhood milestones with only one parent. If they were older, such as a teenager, their parent’s divorce may have them questioning their entire value system. Some research shows the younger a person is when the divorce happens, the more times they process Read more…
The teacher looked on as four-year old Elsa clung to her mom and screamed, “Don’t weave me mommy. Please don’t weave me.” The teacher was confused because little Elsa had always loved coming to her Sunday school class. Mom seemed at a loss as to how to comfort Elsa and get her into the class. The teacher gradually moved into the scene and Read more…
All kids need hugs! However, when a divorce happens in a family many times the kids lost in the shuffle moving between homes. Or the because of the stress in the lives of the parents, the children’s needs get put on hold. You might say kids lose their hugs. The heart felt moments between parent and child become few and far between and Read more…
Using Scripture, the plumb line for relationships. After modeling and demonstrating what love is, (part 1) church leadership can help children, teens, and even adult children of divorce understand what a marriage relationship plumb line looks like. Ephesians 5:21–33 is a starting point. Use that passage to help them see that: God wants husbands to love their wives by serving them. (Eph. 5:25, 33) Read more…
Divorce for teenagers is difficult at best. Now in the world of smart phones and other mobile devices divorce seems to be more open. These devices allow teens to express themselves with clarity never experienced before. It’s easy to fire off an angry text to a dad who has caused the divorce due to his infidelity. It’s easy to curse via a text Read more…
Defining the age group considered to be tweens depends upon the community you live in and the way your public school handles 5th and 6th grade children. Keep in mind that many children will regress emotionally and intellectually. To be a child on the threshold of adolescence is the worst time to have divorcing parents. Some teens when being told parents are divorcing Read more…
Using Scripture, the plumb line for relationships. Divorced and cohabiting parents/guardians are the norm for many children today. The Pew Research Center says that only 46% of children under 18 years of age in the US live in the original two-parent birth family. For the most part, kids whose parents are divorced will have a skewed vision of what a successful marriage Read more…
Children of divorce have to do a lot of adjusting. And they have to continue to adjust as they continue to grow. As new people enter into their parent’s lives, children adjust. As people leave their lives they adjust. They learn to make do and accommodate the adults in their lives. We said it before on this blog but I think it needs Read more…
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How does a church, which focuses on traditional family ministry, minister to the child in fractured families, the child that has experienced trauma and the child of divorce? These are questions some churches seem to be wrestling with as they try to define exactly what family ministry looks like. Divorcing families have indeed changed the landscape of what families look like within the Read more…
It is really very simple – a child does to others what has been done to them. Or they are hurting little children and their behavior is their voice screaming for help. Another reason is they need someone to love them and give them the caring and loving attention little children need. Children aren’t born mean. There may be some predispositions such as Read more…
Nationally 1/3 of the next generation of adults are being raised in single parent homes. They are going to grow up and impact our country and communities. Kids in single parent families matter because they are the next generation of Politicians Doctors Lawyers Teachers Policemen Military personnel Ministers Parents And possibly even the President Do you want 1/3 of our next generation of Read more…
Did you know there is a joyful and funny side to single parenting at Christmas? Sometimes church leaders and children’s ministers can get so wrapped up in the hurting that we forget to look at the lighter, happier side of life that people parenting alone might experience. Naomi,* close friend of mine, told me this story several years ago and every Christmas I Read more…
Our guest blogger today is Matt Havilland. This was originally published on December 15, 2015 at www.1corinthians13parenting.com Christmas. Many of us think of it as a time of celebration of our Lord’s birth; a time of joy, creating and reliving childhood memories; music, family, food, and holiday cheer. This is the one season that seems almost magical- the “most wonderful time of the year”. For Read more…
It’s obvious. Christmas is a hard time of year for children of divorce. Traditions are disrupted. Visitation disrupts their schedules. What should you expect as you interact with one of these children in the context of your ministry? Divorce or separation of parents is recent If it is a child’s first Christmas after the separation or divorce of their parents, you should be Read more…
I want to take you inside the mind and heart of a child whose parents are separated or recently divorced. I’d like to help you to understand what Christmas will look like for them. It’s a stark contrast to the Christmas most of you will enjoy. We reflect on the Christ child at Christmas most of us feel joy and wonder. We get Read more…
From Halloween through Christmas can seem like an entire season for single parents. For people parenting alone or co-parenting these two months have a tendency to loom very large over them. Stress is high – finances are low. Parties are often – a full night of sleep is desired. Shopping and rushing around is endured – calm quiet activities are rare. What can Read more…
In your ministry, it’s likely that you have observed single parents and kids who develop a lot of anxiety about the process of shuttling the children between homes. This stress will be amplified during the holiday season. The switching hour, the time the kids switch between homes, can become less stressful if single parents work at making it normal. I’d like to give you Read more…
♫♫ “Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat Please put a penny in the old man’s hat If you haven’t got a penny, a ha’penny will do, If you haven’t got a ha’penny then God bless you” ♫♫ This was once a popular Christmas song. It was comprised in the nineteenth century by an unknown author. It was a song that used Read more…
Many times children’s pastors and other church leaders will be asked about the idea of divorcing parents spending the holidays together. Perhaps you are one of those pastors and you aren’t quite sure how to advise the divorcing parents. You may be like a lot of people and encourage divorcing parents to come together for a holiday like Thanksgiving. You might think Read more…
When one is parenting alone, there is no one to help late at night or on a day-to-day basis when discipline situations arise. It can get overwhelming, to say the least. As church leaders, you can be of great assistance to single parents when you understand the many issues involved in parenting alone. Following are some typical questions single parents have Read more…
Children in the early grades of elementary school are struggling to fit into two worlds – home and school. Her intellect is expanding rapidly and she is learning how the world operates. He is developing a sense of humor but is terrified at being laughed at by his peers. Divorce unsettles this newfound independence with this life at school and outside the family. Read more…
As a three to five year old child it is hard to understand what is happening when one parent moves out of the home. Parents may have told the child they were getting a divorce and daddy (or mommy) was moving out but a child has no concept of what this means or what the word divorce means. This leaves the child in Read more…
“I wish my daddy would love me as much as he loves his girlfriend and HER daughter, but I know that won’t happen!” Posted by Jaimie on Facebook What would you say to my 12 year-old friend if she were in your church?
Infants and toddlers are affected by the divorce in several ways. They don’t know what is going on but they do sense something is wrong. They pick up on the emotions of the adults around them. It will be hard for the parents to remain calm during the divorce process. Signs of distress in the child Infants and toddlers are likely to be Read more…
To a child, the divorce of their parents can be likened to a tsunami that strikes their lives and leaves destruction and havoc in its wake. Nothing is ever the same again. The divorce will affect the child for many years to come. Divorce impacts future generations within the family • In some families divorce is cyclical. • Children lose access to grandparents Read more…
Many adults give a big sigh when it comes to the thought that they can get an extra night of sleep this year on November 1st. Single parents, who are almost always sleep deprived, certainly welcome the idea of an extra hour of sleep. This year, however, the night before we switch our clocks back an hour comes that infamous and child-centered celebration Read more…
A middle school teacher asked me a question that proved to be fairly thought provoking. I wanted to share his question and my thoughts toward his question. His question As a middle school teacher, I always wonder why some students deal very well with divorce, while others don’t? I would never make the assumption that they don’t do well, because many do. On Read more…
1. Be mentally prepared for for those times when children whose parents are starting the divorce process show up in one of your groups. Tell yourself in advance that when you learn a child’s parents have separated that you take a deep breath; be in the moment and you pray over the child quietly. You also need to keep shock from registering on your Read more…
Recently at the D6 2015 Conference there was a lot of talk about families. The D6 Conference is about family ministry with those families usually being the two-parent families. This year there was a lot of talk about the non-traditional families. You know those families that don’t fit the traditional mold of a two-parent family. These include the Single parent family Step and Read more…
Have you ever thought about the power of encouragement? Most of us try to encourage children that come to our church. We do this because We want to build confidence within the child. We want to promote a relationship with the child so we can help them eventually foster a relationship with Jesus Christ. We want to stimulate them spiritually so they will Read more…
Openly celebrating the demise of a marriage on social media is becoming trendy. In case you are not aware it is fashionable now to celebrate the death of a marriage by posting “divorce selfies.” Most divorce selfies happen as a couple leaves the courthouse after they have filed for divorce or been granted a divorce. On the steps of the courthouse they take a Read more…
Recently I was leading a single parent retreat. At the beginning of the retreat I put up a poster titled, “My Child’s Positives” along with a sharpie attached to the paper. The instructions were at any time during the retreat they could go to the poster and list their children’s positive traits. While this might sound like a simple request for any parenting Read more…
In the post How the Ashley Madison scandal will affect children I shared how that scandal might affect children. But is the impact the same, as when a parent has an extramarital affair with someone the child knows? Is it worse when it is someone the child is close to? Think about it for a moment. It is hard enough when a child Read more…
In recent weeks the breech of data from the website called Ashley Madison has disrupted millions of lives and compromised countless families. On Wikipedia you can read how in July of this year hackers stole user data from a commercial website called Ashley Madison. This site is billed a vehicle to enable extramarital affairs. The hackers have now released 25 gigabytes of company data including Read more…
I realize children’s ministers, aka KidMins, have only a small amount of time to read blog posts so I’m going to make this post very short. Recently I wrote and post about how children of divorce can disciple and minister to other children. Immediately Mal Fick from South Africa sent in the following comment. I have been working in DC4K for almost Read more…
When a couple divorces, many times they attempt to keep the breakup quiet. Perhaps they are embarrassed– or feel it a private matter. More than likely though, one or both spouse are so overwhelmed with a range of decisions and emotions they are coping with that they don’t think about telling other people. Often, schoolteachers are among the last to know. In a recent study 94% of teachers surveyed Read more…
There is a lot of attention right now about the movie. War Room. It is showing in many theaters across the country. It’s also getting rave reviews. It’s become a box office success. If you’ve seen the movie you know that the “war room” is a place where prayer takes place. Prayer goes to battle. The warrior suits up with prayer. Prayers get answered. This Read more…
Recently I posted an article about how blunt kids can be when talking about their parent’s divorce. After that post was published I had someone ask me if I had encountered kids who actually wanted their parents to get a divorce. This person asked if it was possible for little children to truly understood what divorce meant. Do they really want their parents Read more…
Take a moment to think of someone you care about or someone that has impacted your life in a positive way. There are a lot of people that have impacted my life especially in ministry. When I think of one lady in particular and how she has blessed me down through the years I get the “warm fuzzies”. You know that feeling where Read more…
Many times when one reads articles or posts about kids of divorce, we read about hurting children. We envision sad children. We think about angry kids. However, we have hundreds of children in our churches that are healing from the devastation of divorce. They have moved past always being sad and angry. These are kids whose one or both parents have kept them Read more…
Are you aware divorce in a family can be generational? What do I mean by that? Let me give you an example. Grandma and Grandpa Smith divorce early in their marriage. Most generally the mother rears the children in a single parent family. Or she marries quickly and that marriage ends in divorce. The children grow up, get married and they end up Read more…
Research shows that for many children the treatment they receive at church after the divorce of their parent’s hurts almost as much as the divorce itself. Many children feel the loss of a church deeply and for years to come. What if church leaders developed a Disney like approach when ministering to these kids? I’ve visited various Disney parks many times. They know Read more…
Many children of divorce appear to breeze through the divorce at the time the divorce happens. But don’t jump to conclusions. Many of these little girls will try to “keep the peace.” They will hide their feelings and say and do the things they think the adults expect and want from them. However, the divorce experience remains alive – but as memories that they push Read more…
I have worked with children of divorce for over forty years. I’ve heard some conversations that would curl your hair. I’ve also heard stories of tenderness and tales of heartbreak. Several times I have asked children of divorce, “If you had a chance to tell your parents, and other adults something about divorce, what would you say?” Some kids are blunt and say, “Don’t Read more…
Many single parents will tell you loneliness is one of the biggest frustrations of parenting alone. 10 loneliest moments When my grandmother died and I didn’t have anyone to console me in my grief It was a New Year’s Eve party. My house was full of people and everyone had someone and I didn’t When I walked into the house after my husband Read more…
“But Dad wouldn’t do it that way.” “But mom lets us have ice cream before bed.” “But dad said if we didn’t want to go to bed early we don’t have to. He said so.” “But mom said we have to do our homework as soon as we get home. She said if it’s a problem for you to call her.” Children who Read more…
Grandparents can have a profound impact on the lives of grandchildren living through the divorce of their parents. First thing grandparents need to realize is many of these grandchildren are experiencing a trauma in their lives. Divorce is traumatic and many of these children need someone outside the home to help them process all that is happening in their lives. Without help, these Read more…
Often, when a couple divorces, both spouses leave their church. If there are children, they disappear as well. I want to show you ways to retain at least one of the spouses (and hopefully their children)– and why you should try. Occasionally, one of the spouses will remain at the church. In rare instances, both will stay, but for the most part, the Read more…
