Archive for July, 2018
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Why children of divorce feel helpless – and how “choices” can help
One of the tragedies of divorce for children is the feeling of helplessness. Many adults who experienced their parents’ divorce report that, as children, they felt powerless and vulnerable. For the children it seems as though everything is out of control. Changing routines People moving out Things and belongings disappearing People disappearing such as neighbors if there is a move And this is Read more…
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Question of the week: Can you help me understand boundaries that some single parents might need to develop?
There are many single parents that have always had problems setting boundaries for themselves. For some the lack of ability to set personal boundaries is the reason they are parenting alone. Other single parents develop boundary problems when they begin to parent alone. Maybe it is due to the shock of becoming a single parent or perhaps it is the stress involved in Read more…
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Bottom line – kids need boundaries and hope to succeed in life
Single parents need to clearly, positively and assertively communicate boundaries to children. But in order to do this single parents must be able to have boundaries in place for themselves. Why are boundaries and guidelines so important to children? To help you understand the why of boundaries, let’s take a little trip. Let’s say that we have to go to an appointment. Read more…
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Question of the week: How do you discuss the subject of forgiveness with children of divorce?
Forgiveness can be a difficult, sometimes impossible subject to explain when interacting with children who have separated or divorced parents. Some children may have never had forgiveness modeled for them. Others have heard a parent scream sarcastically, such as, “I’m sorry you made me hit you.” These kids have no clue what you are talking about when you say the word “forgiveness.” Read more…
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The importance of collections to the child of divorce
All kids like to collect things. Rocks, bugs, jewels, stamps, coins, and other small items become important to children. Sometimes the items are silly, fun things, while other times there might be a purpose to the art of collecting certain items. Some children turn their collections into hobbies. Boys who collect baseball cards and other sports memorabilia are good examples of collecting Read more…
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Ten tips to create an every-other-weekend home for the child of divorce
Many times, we concentrate on the single-parent home where a child resides. But there are thousands of part-time single parents. These are the situations when the kids come to visit on the weekend. Part-time single parents need help and suggestions to create an emotionally and spiritually healthy environment for the kids. This information in this blog is to help single parents whose kids Read more…
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How puppies can help you understand little kids in divorced homes
About three years ago, we got a cute, little puppy. She was from a rescue organization, and she was not quite twelve weeks when we brought her home. She was a just a little mutt but still cute nonetheless. She was all white, fluffy, and just the sweetest, little thing. Oh, how I fell in love with her. She wasn’t without trials, Read more…
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Champions, cheerleaders, and mentors – oh my! How they can change a child’s life
Recently, I read the book Cheering for the Children by Casey Gwinn. This is an amazing book, and while not written for church leaders or children’s ministers, it is a worthwhile read to anyone ministering to children, especially those who have experienced early trauma, including the divorce of their parents. Gwinn is a man who understands that children hurt by those they love Read more…
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Are you leaving children at the foot of the cross?
Several years ago, I had a man tell me, “Don’t leave these kids from divorced homes at the foot of the cross!” I wasn’t sure I’d heard what he said, so I asked him to repeat it. Don’t leave these kids of divorce at the foot of the cross! This was very confusing to me. I had to ask what on Read more…
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The challenge of childcare for single parents and how to help
We all know our children are the next generation. Unless adults make conscious efforts, they parent kids the way they were parented. Being parented doesn’t necessarily mean your mother or father raised you. For generations, people such as grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends have raised children. We have even had children raised by people once unknown to the children, such as foster parents. Read more…