Archive for the ‘Holidays’ Category
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How will you handle Father’s Day and the child of divorce?
“Can you believe he didn’t even come to his own granddaughter’s graduation?” With fire in her eyes my friend continued with, “He didn’t even bother to call or send a card. What’s wrong with a man like that?” This isn’t the first conversation we have had about her dad. As a grown woman what she really wants to know is, Why didn’t my Read more…
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Question of the week: How do I handle Fathers Day with kids who have absent, uninvolved fathers?
Father’s Day is upon us again. I’ve been watching all the Father’s Day ideas on Pinterest and Facebook pages that serve children’s ministers. I’ve also received a slew of emails from prominent children’s ministers and children’s organizations talking about honoring fathers on this up-and-coming Father’s Day. I’m seeing some great ideas, and I’m glad to see churches reaching out to fathers. Read more…
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Practical tips to honor noncustodial dads on Father’s Day
In a previous post about Father’s Day we talked about the how to help kids who have a MIA dad. There are many dads who are not missing. These are the dads, who while they might not have custody, are good dads that love their children deeply. They care about the well fare of the kids and the family where their children live. Read more…
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Single moms are moms too! Honor them on Mother’s Day.
Single moms deserve the honor of being acknowledged on Mother’s Day. But how many single moms will be in your church on Mother’s Day? Have you ever noticed that some single moms might not attend on Mother’s Day? Know why? Because it can be a hurtful day without their children. You know, the kids who are with the other parent every other Read more…
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Single Parents: Summer months can be very complicated for your children
Summer months can become very sticky, messy, and complicated for mothers, fathers, and children in divorced families and single-parent homes. Divorce decrees can mandate that when school is out, and the children visit the other parent for extended periods of time. They may stay several weeks or even all summer with the other parent. In places with year-round school, the children might stay Read more…
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Single Parents: What are the 3 S’s that can trigger unexpected emotions and memories at Christmas?
Just thinking about walking into my mom’s kitchen brings back fond memories. The aroma of homemade candies and pies flood my mind. The sight of her Christmas tree with the tiny little red bell that had been in my family since before I was born comes to my mind. Any time I smell cinnamon, it takes me back to Christmases past when Read more…
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Give it all to Jesus: My personal story of surviving the holidays
I’ve been through some painful Christmases, following a divorce and after the death of my husband. Down through the years, I developed a way to survive the Christmas season. I’ve shared this story with hundreds of people and I’ve shared it on this blog in Christmases past. Hurting single parents have told me that this one story has helped them also discover a Read more…
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Ways to help the angry child of divorce be thankful at Thanksgiving
Many times the child of divorce doesn’t comprehend the idea of being grateful. As a matter of fact, many children of divorce get angry over the holidays. Being thankful is not on their minds at all. Even if you are teaching about being thankful, they may not understand the concept because of the anger they are experiencing. For the child of divorce, many Read more…
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Happy Mother’s Day to all the single moms everywhere
Single moms deserve the honor of being acknowledged on Mother’s Day. When you get to know a single mom you begin to realize they are the most determined group of people you will ever meet. Single moms have reared some amazing adults. Single moms today are raising the next generation of doctors, lawyers, scientist, ministers, politicians, teachers, parents and every profession you can Read more…
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How grandparents can help children of divorce honor their moms on Mother’s Day
With Mother’s Day on the horizon, many churches are planning how to celebrate the mothers in their congregation. In children’s classes around the globe, little kids will be making things to take to their mothers on this special day. There is one group of kids, though, who are conflicted about how to proceed with celebrating their mothers, and that is children of Read more…
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Question of the week: How does Valentine’s Day affect kids and divorced parents?
The infamous day of “love” is coming up. You know the one I’m talking about: Valentine’s Day. How Valentine’s Day affects kids and divorced parents is an interesting question. A lot of how it affects kids and parents depends on where the parents are in the divorce process. If the parents are recently divorced, still healing, and not involved in another relationship, Read more…
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Reasons Why Children Get Angry During the Holidays
Some single parents face the holidays with excitement and a resolve to make this holiday season the best ever for their children. However, if this is the first year a single parent in your church has faced the holidays, he or she may be approaching the holidays with trepidation. These single parents might not be sure how their children are going to react Read more…
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The Wind Chime That Changed Christmas
For this single-parent family, it was the first Christmas without the other parent. How could a wind chime make a difference? How did a wind chime help this single parent make new traditions during the holidays? It’s important for single parents to approach the birth of our Savior during the Christmas holidays. It doesn’t have to be all about presents, stressing over where Read more…
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What are the 3 S’s that can trigger unexpected emotions and memories at Christmas?
Just thinking about walking into my mom’s kitchen brings back fond memories. The aroma of homemade candies and pies flood my mind. The sight of her Christmas tree with the tiny little red bell that had been in my family since before I was born comes to my mind. Any time I smell cinnamon, it takes me back to Christmases past of Read more…
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Question of the week: Why is the interruption of routines and traditions at Christmas so difficult for a child?
Children of divorce get used to a particular routine. While living in a different house every week or leaving your home to spend every other weekend with a different parent might not seem like a routine to us adults, to children, it is what has become their routine. It is a schedule that has become a routine they can count on to Read more…
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Happy 4th
Single parent If you are a divorced parent and not with your children today on the 4th of July, give them a call, or text them. Let them know you are thinking of them, and wish them a safe 4th of July. If you have your children with you today, plan some kind of celebration, even if it’s just a picnic in your Read more…
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Happy Father’s Day!
To single dads, co-parenting dads, noncustodial fathers, stepdads, and to those who are happily married: thanks for all you do to love and support your children. You make a difference!
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Regarding Father’s Day: Single dads are dads too!
This month I’d like to bring emphasis to the single dads in our world today. Let’s start by thinking about single dads and Father’s Day. Father’s Day is set aside to celebrate the father’s in our world. Some children of divorce may not have a close relationship with their father. Perhaps the Lord has provided another person to play that father role. Read more…
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The Easter Bunny arrives right on cue!
Easter was only a week away. Everywhere you looked there were Easter displays. Many churches were planning an Easter egg hunt or Easter celebrations the next Saturday. Kids in my preschool and after-school program were hyped about Easter games, Easter baskets, Easter candy, and Easter, Easter, Easter. In my program were three children who were not excited about all this Easter stuff. Read more…
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Helping single parents and their kids survive Valentine’s Day
Most of us who work with or minister to children smile when we think about Valentine’s Day. Perhaps you remember the excitement of taking your Valentine cards to school to swap with the other kids. Or maybe you are experiencing your own kids and their excitement at getting all those cards on Valentine’s Day. While Valentine’s Day can be exciting for many people, Read more…
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Little people need a big people advocate in the new year
As we are approaching a new year I want to challenge all of you to represent the little people at the big people’s table. What do I mean by that? I mean that many “little people” of divorce are going to be terribly stressed out as we approach the new year. They are going to need a big people advocate. Holidays such as Thanksgiving and Christmas are not Read more…
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Part Two: Reasons we do what we do at Christmas and all year long
She pushed another child and screamed at the child in front of her as the Christmas play began. She didn’t want to be on stage. She didn’t want any part of the play. She shouted, “It’s just a stupid old play anyway. Who cares?” as she stormed off the stage. Her mom sat there terrified not knowing what to do. Her dad sat Read more…
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Part One: Reasons we do what we do at Christmas and all year long
The little fellow stood off to the side of the room. Everyone was jumping up and down waiting for their special Christmas treat. As each child received their present one could hear laughter and squeals of delight. All this little boy wanted was for his mom to come home for Christmas. If she could just change her mind and come home even if Read more…
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Here is 1 simple tip to help kids of divorce cope over the holidays
In your ministry, it’s likely that you have observed single parents and kids who develop a lot of anxiety about the process of shuttling the children between homes. This stress will be amplified during the holiday season. The switching hour, the time the kids switch between homes, can become less stressful if single parents work at making it normal. I’d like to give you Read more…
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5 Ways You Can Help Single Parents Survive the Upcoming Holidays
From Halloween through Christmas can seem like an entire season for single parents. For people parenting alone or co-parenting these two months have a tendency to loom very large over them. Stress is high – finances are low. Parties are often – a full night of sleep is desired. Shopping and rushing around is endured – calm quiet activities are rare. What can Read more…
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Why we shouldn’t try and “happy up” children who are hurting at Christmas
I want to take you inside the mind and heart of a child whose parents are separated or recently divorced. I’d like to help you to understand what Christmas will look like for them. It’s a stark contrast to the Christmas most of you will enjoy. We reflect on the Christ child at Christmas most of us feel joy and wonder. We get Read more…
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What are the 3 S’s that can trigger unexpected emotions and memories at Christmas?
Just thinking about walking into my mom’s kitchen brings back fond memories. The aroma of homemade candies and pies flood my mind. The sight of her Christmas tree with the tiny little red bell that had been in my family since before I was born comes to my mind. Any time I smell cinnamon, it takes me back to Christmases past of Read more…
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Give thanks today and tomorrow
Gratitude increases closeness in relationships. “As you parent your children, look for opportunities to take advantage of gratefulness to draw closer to your kids.” Dr. Scott Turansky Wishing all of our friends a happy and safe Thanksgiving
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Be an encourager for the little people this holiday season
When I was growing up, we went to my grandmother’s for holiday events. I remember when our entire family, including all the cousins, came together at Christmas, there were always two eating areas. One was in the kitchen at the kitchen table, and that’s where all the kids or, as my grandfather would say, “the little people” would eat. At the nice dining-room Read more…
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The child of divorce benefits from an attitude of gratitude
Is there really any good that comes out of being thankful? Does being thankful actually change a person’s attitude? There is a lot of brain research that shows this to be true. Plus, God’s Word tells us to be thankful. First Thessalonians 5:18 says, “Give thanks in all circumstances for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” Children Read more…
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Got grouchy kids this week?
What are the two most difficult days out of the entire year for the child of divorce? Want to try and guess what they are? Christmas? Thanksgiving? Valentines Day? Halloween? Birthday? Did you pick any of the above? These are all good guesses and for many children some of these days are difficult. But the two days that cause havoc with the Read more…
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How will you honor a single mom on Mother’s Day?
Mother’s Day is coming up. Have you thought much about how you might honor the single mothers in your congregation? For me personally, Mother’s Day was one of the hardest days of celebration when my kids weren’t with me. I know other single moms who feel the same way. Many single moms purposefully don’t attend church on Mother’s Day when they don’t Read more…
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An Easter story – she did what she could
This Easter story has a little different slant than most posts you’ll read about Easter. This Easter story is written to capture the heart of anyone ministering to children of divorce, of single parents, or in blended families. A few years ago, right before Easter, my church minister Dr. Brad Reynolds preached on Mark 14. I had heard this chapter preached on Read more…
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Reasons why ministering to hurting children is the richest job on the planet
For those of us who work with hurting children, another year has come and passed, and hopefully, we have made a difference. Those of us who have the honor of ministering to hurting children have richest job on the planet. We get the pleasure of ministering to innocent children who have an innate desire to love the Lord. “I love Jesus with Read more…
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Question of the week: How do I help single parents celebrate Christmas this year?
There are those around you who are dreading Christmas and the build-up to it. It’s easy to lose sight of this when you get caught up in the excitement of the season and the joy of celebrating the birth of our Savior. “Merry Christmas!” exclaim many Christians this time of the year. Just thinking of Christmas can bring warm feelings and memories Read more…
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Question of the week: How can I get the single parent family involved and serving over the holidays?
A children’s minister asked me this question recently. It inspired me to share these thoughts with you. Christmas is hard on many single-parent families. While some single-parent families are struggling to adjust to this new lifestyle, others have been single parenting for years. These are the single parents who are ready to serve and give back. From my observations over the past years, Read more…
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All I want for Christmas is my ………..
I imagine when you saw this article title, many of you thought the rest of this phrase would be “my two front teeth.” You may remember that fun Christmas song “All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth” from childhood. The lyrics talk about how people stop and stare at a little child missing his two front teeth. The child wishes Read more…
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Gratitude changes attitudes in kids
Many children in our world today have bad attitudes. These attitudes affect how parents, teachers, and church leaders treat them. Kids of divorce are no exception. As a result of all they’ve been through, many become bitter and sad. Those dealing with these kids interpret their bitterness and sorrow as attitude problems. If children of divorce don’t learn how to find joy, Read more…
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Question of the week: Should divorced parents be encouraged to spend Thanksgiving together?
A lot of people encourage divorcing parents to come together for holidays, such as Thanksgiving. People think it is in the best interest of the children. The premise is to create the image of one big, happy family. Although that might seem to work for the adults, for the most part, it is not a good idea where children are concerned. Psychologist Carl Read more…
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How to help children stay connected to the long-distance parent
When a parent lives out of state and not close to children, it can be a real challenge to keep the relationship alive. However, there are several things you can do to help the long-distance parent stay connected. If the long-distance parent is in your church, offer the following suggestions. The main thing is to create a relationship with the child. It takes Read more…
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Family ‘vacations’ for single parents who can’t afford a trip or can’t get off work
Many single parents can’t take a summer vacation. It might be because of finances, or possibly they don’t have vacation time. Even if they have vacation time, they may not be able to go anywhere. Single parents still need to connect with their kids, and staying home playing, cooking, and just being together can benefit single parents and the kids. The answer might Read more…
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Remembering and celebrating single moms on Mother’s Day
Single moms deserve the honor of being acknowledged on Mother’s Day. When you get to know a single mom you begin to realize they are the most determined group of people you will ever meet. Here are just a few things that is takes to be good single mom Grit Gumption Fortitude Gentleness Dedication Strength Loyalty to your convictions An enormous amount of Read more…
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5 Ways to assist a child with a broken and hurting heart
The January/February 2017 cover of Children’s Ministry Magazine says, “How changed hearts, change hearts.” I love this phrase. It is what I’ve touted for years, except I have left off the word “how” and simply said, “Changed hearts, change hearts.” In the article “How to transform the heart of your ministry from perfect programs to rooted relationships,” author Dan Lovaglia talks Read more…
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ATT: Children’s and family ministers– stop ministering! Seriously.
My daughter on duty in Afghanistan. Right about now I figure most of you are pretty stressed. From fall festivals through Christmas celebrations life can get pretty hectic for those in church ministries. You have the heart to minister. All year long the Lord has given you opportunities to further His kingdom through ministries to children and families. Now it is time Read more…
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Gifts we give to the Christ child
Those of us who work with children most likely have heard all about the gifts they want for Christmas this year. Most kids dream about the presents they will unwrap Christmas morning. And let’s face it—many of us adults have a few things in our minds we’d like for Christmas, too. We know that Christmas is gift-giving time. It started with the Read more…
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Kids & Divorce Christmas Greetings: Compilation of Christmas Articles
We’ve posted quite a few articles the past few years to help you help the children of divorce and the single parents in your church. Following is a summation of some those articles. I pray you are able to use these to minister to the hurting in your church and that they open the eyes to many ministers and volunteers who work with Read more…
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Should a divorced single parent spend the holidays with the ex?
As a children’s minister, have you ever encountered a single parent who asks you about spending the holidays with his ex? The children might be pushing the adults to do this. The single parent wants to please the kids but is seeking your input. How will you respond? In this article, you will discover some points to think about before answering the single Read more…
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How do I help the child of divorce who is all about “gimme, gimme, gimme” at Christmas?
We’ve talked a lot on this site about the hurting child of divorce and the various ways of ministering to these children. If you have been ministering very long to the child of divorce you know that while they indeed are hurting deeply, some of these children have figured out how to play the two parents against each other to get what they Read more…
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Stressed out kids need comfort foods at Christmas
Do you remember the commercial for Chick-fil-A where the spotted cow puts up signs saying, “Eat mor chikin?” I always get a kick out of the way the “cowz” come up with different ways to supposedly keep one from eating beef. This food chain has come up with a unique way to promote its sell of chicken. Today I wish I had a unique Read more…
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How you can encourage single parents to attend church during the holidays?
A young single mom entered my class one Sunday close to Christmas. She was almost trembling and I could tell she was very upset. She just stood there looking at me and when I asked, “What’s wrong?” She said, “I need a hug.” Single parenting is tough almost all the time. But Sundays seem particularly hard for single parents. It could be that Read more…
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How do I help single parents reduce stress for kids who have to switch homes during the holidays?
In your ministry, it’s likely that you’ve observed single parents and kids who develop a lot of anxiety about the process of shuttling the children between homes. This stress will be amplified during the holiday season. The switching hour, the time the kids switch between homes, can become less stressful if single parents work at making it normal. I’d like to give Read more…
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What Can I Do to Support the Military Single Parent Family?
On Veteran’s Day and various holidays supporting the military, it is a good time to talk about celebrating the military single parents and their children in your congregations. This can be single parents who are currently serving or have served in our military. If you have children of a deployed single parent in your group, send a Facebook message, text or an email Read more…
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Why weren’t many single moms in your church on Mother’s Day?
Allow me to ask you some of questions. Did you see any single mothers in your church on Mother’s Day? Did you take a few minutes to look around for a single mom sitting alone in your midst? Do you know why the single moms were not in church on such a special day? For many single moms Mother’s Day is the worst Read more…
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Mother’s Day
How are you honoring the moms of kids in single parent families in your church? Single moms are wonderful caring and hard working people. Celebrate them. Honor them and love on them this Mother’s Day. And remember some single mom’s won’t have their children with them on Mother’s Day. For those moms Mother’s Day is a painful reminder that they parent alone. Ask Read more…
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Does spring break mean heartache for some kids of divorce?
Hear what kids of divorce have to say about spring break. In my area of the country, it is officially spring break time. By that, I mean all the college kids are coming to our area to enjoy the beaches. Families are flocking to our area to celebrate spring in the warm sunshine. In the news media when you hear about spring break, Read more…
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What Happens to The Child of Divorce During the “Switching Hour”?
Many have coined the time when children go from one home to another the “switching hour”. Evon Flesberg was the first expert to write about the switching hour in her book, “The Switching Hour, Kids of Divorce Say Good-Bye Again”[1]. I’ve watched children for years deal with this issue of switching back and forth between homes. Evon brings up an interesting point when Read more…
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The funny side of single parenting during Christmas holidays
Did you know there is a joyful and funny side to single parenting at Christmas? Sometimes church leaders and children’s ministers can get so wrapped up in the hurting that we forget to look at the lighter, happier side of life that people parenting alone might experience. Naomi,* close friend of mine, told me this story several years ago and every Christmas I Read more…
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Christmas, Single Parents, and Immanuel
Our guest blogger today is Matt Havilland. This was originally published on December 15, 2015 at www.1corinthians13parenting.com Christmas. Many of us think of it as a time of celebration of our Lord’s birth; a time of joy, creating and reliving childhood memories; music, family, food, and holiday cheer. This is the one season that seems almost magical- the “most wonderful time of the year”. For Read more…
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Christmas and the emotions of a child of divorce
It’s obvious. Christmas is a hard time of year for children of divorce. Traditions are disrupted. Visitation disrupts their schedules. What should you expect as you interact with one of these children in the context of your ministry? Divorce or separation of parents is recent If it is a child’s first Christmas after the separation or divorce of their parents, you should be Read more…
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Why we shouldn’t try and “happy up” children who are hurting at Christmas
I want to take you inside the mind and heart of a child whose parents are separated or recently divorced. I’d like to help you to understand what Christmas will look like for them. It’s a stark contrast to the Christmas most of you will enjoy. We reflect on the Christ child at Christmas most of us feel joy and wonder. We get Read more…
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5 Ways You Can Help Single Parents Survive the Upcoming Holidays
From Halloween through Christmas can seem like an entire season for single parents. For people parenting alone or co-parenting these two months have a tendency to loom very large over them. Stress is high – finances are low. Parties are often – a full night of sleep is desired. Shopping and rushing around is endured – calm quiet activities are rare. What can Read more…
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Here is 1 simple tip to help kids of divorce cope over the holidays
In your ministry, it’s likely that you have observed single parents and kids who develop a lot of anxiety about the process of shuttling the children between homes. This stress will be amplified during the holiday season. The switching hour, the time the kids switch between homes, can become less stressful if single parents work at making it normal. I’d like to give you Read more…
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Changing family structures: how they affect your church’s Christmas celebrations
♫♫ “Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat Please put a penny in the old man’s hat If you haven’t got a penny, a ha’penny will do, If you haven’t got a ha’penny then God bless you” ♫♫ This was once a popular Christmas song. It was comprised in the nineteenth century by an unknown author. It was a song that used Read more…
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Why divorcing parents shouldn’t spend the holidays together
Many times children’s pastors and other church leaders will be asked about the idea of divorcing parents spending the holidays together. Perhaps you are one of those pastors and you aren’t quite sure how to advise the divorcing parents. You may be like a lot of people and encourage divorcing parents to come together for a holiday like Thanksgiving. You might think Read more…
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Combining Daylight Savings Time with Halloween = YIKES!
Many adults give a big sigh when it comes to the thought that they can get an extra night of sleep this year on November 1st. Single parents, who are almost always sleep deprived, certainly welcome the idea of an extra hour of sleep. This year, however, the night before we switch our clocks back an hour comes that infamous and child-centered celebration Read more…
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What happens when you have the “warm fuzzies” for challenging children
Take a moment to think of someone you care about or someone that has impacted your life in a positive way. There are a lot of people that have impacted my life especially in ministry. When I think of one lady in particular and how she has blessed me down through the years I get the “warm fuzzies”. You know that feeling where Read more…
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Question of the week: Where can I find Christmas and holiday articles for single parents?
Sometimes it is good to be able to pass a word of encouragement to a struggling single parent. Following are some articles that can be found on the DivorceCare Surviving the Holidays website. Feel free to print these, send them via Facebook, Twitter or email to the single parents in your church or to any single parent you know. These articles are all Read more…
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What buzzed you? Our top-10 blog posts
We just celebrated the first anniversary of our Kids and Divorce Blog. It gave me a great excuse to step back and look at what got the most attention in a year’s worth of posts. I want to share that information with you. “Effects of divorce on the 6, 7 and 8 year old children” was read more than any other post. It Read more…
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Question of the week: Where can I find resources to help the single parents in my church during Christmas break?
Many times those of us that work in ministry hurt for the hurting. We want to help but just aren’t sure how to help. What can you say to make the situation better for a divorcing family? Sometimes it is best not to say anything but just give them a big hug. Sometimes they need someone to listen to them. Sometimes they just Read more…
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Father’s Day
Father’s Day is set aside to celebrate the father’s in our world. Some children of divorce may not have a close relationship with their father. Perhaps the Lord has provided another person to play that father role. If the Lord has provided a grandfather, uncle, older siblings, neighbors or even a male mentor from the church, encourage the child to celebrate that person. Read more…
