#Divorceselfies – a new trend



Openly celebrating the demise of a marriage on social media is becoming trendy. In case you are not aware it is fashionable now to celebrate the death of a marriage by posting “divorce selfies.”

Most divorce selfies happen as a couple leaves the courthouse after they have filed for divorce or been granted a divorce. On the steps of the courthouse they take a snapshot with both people grinning from ear to ear. The comment accompanying the picture says something about how happy they are to conclude their marriage. Some couples say they will remain friends.

  • One picture shows a couple giving the thumbs up.
  • Another picture has the caption, “Welcome to coparenting.”
  • Hash tags such as #puttingkidsfirst or #gameover, etc. accompany the divorce selfie.

On one person’s Facebook page, where her and the ex are smiling big smiles in their divorce selfie, she says they ended their marriage in a way that will allow them to co-parent their kids together. She goes on to explain that the kids will never have to choose between the two of them since they are happily co-parenting together.

Wait ……. what? My question is, just because you posted a divorce selfie and the two of you are happy with your decision how does that keep the kids from being caught in the middle for the rest of their lives?

The amazing thing about this person’s Facebook post is it has been shared over 35,000 times.

How are the kids handling this new trend?  

I’ve only found one article where an adult child of divorce expresses his opinion. In talking about his own parent’s divorce he says, “Had social media existed at the time, I can only imagine what their Facebook timelines and Instagram grids would have looked like during this period or if they would have taken a ‘divorce selfie’ an absurd viral trend commemorating the dissolution of their marriage.” I tend to agree with this guy when he says “an absurd viral trend.”

  • What must a kid think when they see the celebration of the union that created them celebrating it’s demise?
  • Does the child then wonder if they don’t matter any more?
  • Do they wonder what will happen to them now that the parent’s don’t love each other enough to stick it out and that they celebrate it?

It seems the grief would be worse because the two most important people in the child’s life and the ones they trusted the most to make wise decisions appear to be flaunting the dissolution of the family. I would think the child would wonder about the decision to make their family’s problems so public.

Are divorcing parents putting kids in the middle?

Are the divorcing adults considering the needs of the children? I think they think they are putting the kids needs first but in actuality I believe they are placing the kids smack dab in the middle of an ongoing nightmare.

  • Are the kids required to smile and jokingly comment about their parents divorce?
  • If the child/teen is on social media will they continually see their parent’s proudly displaying their divorce?
  • What will they say to their friends that see the divorce selfie?
  • How will the kids handle the emotional trauma of the divorce when their parents are glibly joking about such a serious decision?

In an article, “Divorce Selfies Are a Thing” the couple says they “want the world to know it’s not that big a deal.” Not that big a deal? Perhaps not to the divorcing couple but to the rest of the world, to our society, to the children, to the church and to God it is a big deal.

Will the excitement fade?

Just as the old photographs begin to fade with time, the excitement of posting a divorce selfie will fade with time. What these couples might not realize is they are still doing something together even though divorced. They are posting a divorce selfie together because it is something they have in common. As time marches on and they no longer do things together sadness may creep in.

This new trend says to me that even more so than ever before children whose parents are divorcing need the church. They need church family and people that understand their hurts. They need truths and they need to know what the Bible says about divorce.


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