Dreams – the staple of childhood



Dreams are made to be chased relentlessly
(Philip Gillespie)

You may remember being a child and being outside running through the tall grass or climbing a tree and your mind being filled with all kinds of ideas and dreams. Think about the feeling of freedom your dreams brought to you.

I remember just sitting on the porch of our old farmhouse. I would sit there for a long time daydreaming about my future. Sometimes one of my neighborhood friends would join me and we would fill our minds with crazy ideas. We’d ask each other, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

While kids now days don’t have as much opportunity to be outside, they still have dreams. They still share their ideas about what they want to be when they grow up. Of course everyday their dreams about the future might change.  That is the beauty of being free and innocent with no boundaries on one’s dreams. You might say, “Dreams are to be chased relentlessly!” And little kids sure can do that.

For the child of divorce dreams are very important. Dreams can bring a feeling of that much needed freedom from the stress of the divorce. Children of divorce need to be able to hold onto and chase their dreams but many times the adults in their lives will squelch their ability to dream.

You might think this happens because they have a parent who is angry, sad or maybe very depressed. These may contribute some but more than anything else indifference is what impacts the child of divorce and their dreams.

  • A child needs to be noticed and to matter.
  • A child needs freedom from heavy responsibilities to be able to daydream.
  • A child needs encouragement to let loose.
  • A child needs time alone also in order to be free from cumbersome adult motives, control and talk about the divorce.
  • The child of divorce also needs a parent to listen to their dreams without being told, “Where did you get a crazy idea like that?”

It is not impossible for kids to pursue their dreams without parental support. Many kids of divorce use the indifference of their parents to propel them forward but these kids are few. And usually there was a caring adult along the way who had time to embrace their dreams and ideas.

If you are an adult child of divorce, what were some of your dreams as a child and who encouraged you to dream?

If you are not a child of divorce but you are a single parent or you work with a child of divorce, what will you do to help children chase after their dreams?

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2 thoughts on “Dreams – the staple of childhood

  1. Excellent and accurate blog!

    In our Chained No More classes, our participants had lost their dreams and have pretty much just survived throughout their childhood and into their adulthood.
    They believed the words they heard growing up and it defined them. Dreams? What dreams?

    Thank you for educating parents to how to keep their kids’ dreams alive.

    • Thanks Robyn for validating how important it is for little kids to have the ability to dream. As you are finding out, not all little kids get to dream positive care free dreams.

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