Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category
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Single Parents – Celebrating Thanksgiving Might Be Different
A lot of people encourage divorcing parents to come together for holidays, such as Thanksgiving. People think it is in the best interest of the children. The premise is to create the image of one big, happy family. Although that might seem to work for the adults, for the most part, it is not a good idea where children are concerned. Psychologist Carl Read more…
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How grandparents can help children of divorce honor their moms on Mother’s Day
With Mother’s Day on the horizon, many churches are planning how to celebrate the mothers in their congregation. In children’s classes around the globe, little kids will be making things to take to their mothers on this special day. There is one group of kids, though, who are conflicted about how to proceed with celebrating their mothers, and that is children of Read more…
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Here is 1 simple tip to help kids of divorce cope over the holidays
In your ministry, it’s likely that you have observed single parents and kids who develop a lot of anxiety about the process of shuttling the children between homes. This stress will be amplified during the holiday season. The switching hour, the time the kids switch between homes, can become less stressful if single parents work at making it normal. I’d like to give you Read more…
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5 Ways You Can Help Single Parents Survive the Upcoming Holidays
From Halloween through Christmas can seem like an entire season for single parents. For people parenting alone or co-parenting these two months have a tendency to loom very large over them. Stress is high – finances are low. Parties are often – a full night of sleep is desired. Shopping and rushing around is endured – calm quiet activities are rare. What can Read more…
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Why we shouldn’t try and “happy up” children who are hurting at Christmas
I want to take you inside the mind and heart of a child whose parents are separated or recently divorced. I’d like to help you to understand what Christmas will look like for them. It’s a stark contrast to the Christmas most of you will enjoy. We reflect on the Christ child at Christmas most of us feel joy and wonder. We get Read more…
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Donuts for dads at church
Last fall, one school district in the area where I live had a “Donuts and Dads” day. It was centered on the “Dads, Take Your Student to School Day.” This was the second year of this brilliant idea. The first year, only fifty dads showed up for doughnuts. But this year word got out, and there were 300 dads who showed up Read more…
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Question of the week: Why do you have so much compassion for troubled and disruptive kids?
I It is really very simple—children do to others what has been done to them. Or they are hurting, little children, and their behavior is their voice screaming for help. In DC4K, or DivorceCare for Kids, we see children calming down and bringing their behavior under control when They learn they have a voice. They put a name to their feelings. Someone Read more…
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Do children experience “stages” of divorce?
For years, people who work with children of divorce have wondered what the stages of grief are for these kids. One children’s minister asked me, “How can I help a child of divorce when I don’t know what the stages of grief are? Explain them to me, please.” Many have held onto the stages of grief developed by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. Basically, those stages Read more…
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Question of the week: How do I help single parents celebrate Christmas this year?
There are those around you who are dreading Christmas and the build-up to it. It’s easy to lose sight of this when you get caught up in the excitement of the season and the joy of celebrating the birth of our Savior. “Merry Christmas!” exclaim many Christians this time of the year. Just thinking of Christmas can bring warm feelings and memories Read more…
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Here are TWO BIG TIPS when ministering to disruptive children of divorce
Children of divorce can be disruptive, and many times, the adult standing in front of them doesn’t know what to do. Here are two really easy techniques to use. Tip #1 Don’t ask the child any question whose answer you already know. It tends to take away the dignity of the child. More than likely, the child knows you know the answer, so Read more…
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Draw your family + a child of divorce = paper ripped to shreds
A kindergarten child was asked to draw a picture of his family. The child started the picture and then ripped it to shreds. The picture above is what was left of the child’s original drawing. An assistant in the room thought the child was being disrespectful and out of control. She was ready to punish the child. When ministering to the children of divorce Read more…
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“We don’t have any kids in our church from divorced families. Why would we need DivorceCare for Kids?”
You might be surprised to find children of divorce in your church. It might mean one has to look differently for children of divorce and in places you might not have considered. For example, ever thought about children in two-parent families being from a divorce? If you have any blended or step family situations then more than likely you have children of Read more…
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Why do some single parents seem to be frazzled?
Ever wonder why that kid who only comes every other week has a parent that never seems to know what is going on? They appear frazzled all the time. It is because there is just too much happening in his or her personal life. They are frazzled single parents. Single parents are strong people. They have to be in order to survive. However, Read more…
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The Infiltration of Whirlwind Kids – What Do You Do?
Have you ever had a class or group and all was going well until …….. that one child walked through the doors? You know what I’m talking about. It’s the child that seems to bring a tornado into the room with them leaving a path of destruction all along the way. You may ask What causes a child to be a whirlwind kid? Read more…
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Planting shadows: generational consequences of divorce
Chinese proverb One generation plants the trees; another gets the shade. American proverb One generation gets a divorce; another gets to live in the shadows of confusion, loss of a marriage model, loss of trust in relationships, haphazard church involvement and the experience of living in fractured families.
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Confusion, stress and other short-term legacies of divorce on kids
Several years ago I had a single mom show up at my house late one evening. She had left the husband that day, taken the kids and a few belongings and had checked into a local hotel. The precious 4th grade little girl looked bewildered. When I asked her what she thought about what was happening she said, “I am sooo confused. Somebody Read more…
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Effects of Divorce on Teens and How Mobile Devices Can Complicate Healing
Divorce for teenagers is difficult at best. Now in the world of smart phones and other mobile devices divorce seems to be more open. These devices allow teens to express themselves with clarity never experienced before. It’s easy to fire off an angry text to a dad who has caused the divorce due to his infidelity. It’s easy to curse via a text Read more…
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Question of the week: Why do you talk so much about the single moms?
It’s true that a lot of posts we do on this site are about single moms. The simple reason is that a majority of single parents are single moms. Because of this, most of my personal experience is with single moms. However, there are some great single dads in our society as well. More and more single dads are stepping up and either helping raise Read more…
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Our church flooded. What this taught me about the child of divorce.
I spent this afternoon at my church helping other church members move furniture and shop vacuuming water out our flooded church. Our area got hit really hard the past couple of days with rain. The rain came up over the berm behind the church and rushed throughout the building. All the children’s rooms on one side of the sanctuary flooded and two of Read more…
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What buzzed you? Our top-10 blog posts
We just celebrated the first anniversary of our Kids and Divorce Blog. It gave me a great excuse to step back and look at what got the most attention in a year’s worth of posts. I want to share that information with you. “Effects of divorce on the 6, 7 and 8 year old children” was read more than any other post. It Read more…
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Hey! There’s Paul!
Today’s post comes from guest writer, Linda Alderfer. Linda is the DC4K Director and Senior Consultant. Following is a story that comes from her own experience of running a DivorceCare for Kids group at her church. During an evening neighborhood walk, we passed the house of one of our DC4K students. It’s been a turbulent year for this 6 year old. Dad Read more…
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Father’s Day
Father’s Day is set aside to celebrate the father’s in our world. Some children of divorce may not have a close relationship with their father. Perhaps the Lord has provided another person to play that father role. If the Lord has provided a grandfather, uncle, older siblings, neighbors or even a male mentor from the church, encourage the child to celebrate that person. Read more…
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How you can get the R.E.A.L. strategy for ministering to kids of divorce & single parent families
I have a wonderful opportunity to present a full 8 hours at the Group KidMin Conference coming up in October. That is e-i-g-h-t hours! I am excited to have this opportunity to talk about kids of divorce and their single parents to children’s pastors and church leaders. The deeper learning track I’m presenting is “Ministry to Kids of Divorce and Single Parent Families. Read more…
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KidMin networking – see you there!
This fall several children’s ministers conferences are coming up. I’m excited about these interactions. It’s a great time to network, find out what’s going on in the KidMin world. Plus it is a celebration that says to KidMin people they matter! Wednesday I spent most of the morning getting ready for the LifeWay Children’s Ministers Conference. For any of you who know Read more…