Archive for the ‘Disasters’ Category
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Red zones in schools, churches, and homes—when kids don’t feel safe!
Ever heard of the “Red Zone?” Many of us understand that when something enters the red zone, it can prove to be a daunting situation. For example, if your car overheats, and the temperature gauge moves into the red zone, it’s important to check the engine to see what’s going on. Otherwise, the car may overheat or cause a fire, and you Read more…
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Creative tips to use when living with or ministering to a traumatized child
In another blog, “Do you recognize the behaviors of a traumatized child?” I presented how children might act when exposed to various crises. Today let’s look at what we can do when ministering to, living with, or working with a child that has been traumatized. What to do When dealing with unruly children change from thinking or asking, “What’s wrong with you?” to Read more…
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One important point when ministering to kids in crisis and trauma – be present in the moment!
. Kids in trauma and crisis pick up on what is going on in your mind. This is especially true of kids from divorced situations or children who have experienced some type of trauma, like a school shooting. Your presence of mind makes a difference to a child who has experienced a crisis. These kids need you to be in the moment so Read more…
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Murdered Single Mom
Six years ago, at about 6 p.m. on Christmas Eve, a seventeen-year-old young man murdered his single mom in the Florida community where I live. They had been having an altercation, and at some point, the young man grabbed a baseball bat, beat his mom, and stabbed her numerous times with kitchen knives. From all accounts, the young man appeared to be a Read more…
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Do you recognize the behaviors of a traumatized child?
Are you are aware of the many crises children today experience? A trauma-informed church understands how a crisis affects a child. Experiencing a life crisis can lead to some children exhibiting particular characteristics of being “traumatized?” Definitions of crisis and trauma A crisis is an event – a disaster, the emergency, the calamity, or predicament. Trauma is the result of experiencing a crisis Read more…
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Kids in trauma and heart-felt connections
Have you ever had a child who has experienced a crisis or trauma get attached to you? I’ve had children who I knew were connected to me emotionally. However, I had no idea of the depth of these connections. For the child of divorce and other life-changing traumas, it is a different kind of connection. They become attached not only to you but Read more…
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Question of the week: How do you discuss the subject of forgiveness with children of divorce?
Forgiveness can be a difficult, sometimes impossible subject to explain when interacting with children who have separated or divorced parents. Some children may have never had forgiveness modeled for them. Others have heard a parent scream sarcastically, such as, “I’m sorry you made me hit you.” These kids have no clue what you are talking about when you say the word “forgiveness.” Read more…
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The incredible, amazing brain, Part 4: Essential “drugs” to use when ministering to the child of divorce and trauma
I realize many of you want no part of using drugs with kids whose parents have divorced or children who have experienced some sort of trauma. However, the drugs or chemicals I’m introducing here today will help you and make your ministry more effective when you use them. They are all natural, legal, and free. These four drugs have the ability to Affect Read more…
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5 Ways to assist a child with a broken and hurting heart
The January/February 2017 cover of Children’s Ministry Magazine says, “How changed hearts, change hearts.” I love this phrase. It is what I’ve touted for years, except I have left off the word “how” and simply said, “Changed hearts, change hearts.” In the article “How to transform the heart of your ministry from perfect programs to rooted relationships,” author Dan Lovaglia talks Read more…
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Question of the week: What do I do if an abusive parent shows up to kidnap his or her child? What if they are armed?
Today, I describe extreme situations that might affect your children’s ministry. I hope you never have to deal with these situations, but in today’s environment, you need to be prepared. “What do I do if an abusive parent shows up to kidnap his or her child? What if the parent is armed?” I was asked this question at a recent children’s pastors’ event. Read more…
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Talking to kids about disasters
I grew up in Bartlesville, OK. I have heard about tornadoes my entire life. I owned two child care programs in OK for over twenty-five years. As a kid I remember going into the hallways at school and putting my hands over my head while crouched down on my knees. In childcare we practiced relentlessly with the children. The fire department recommended Read more…
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Helping kids process public tragedy and terror
Many children will hear about the recent attacks or other frightening events such as widespread fires, weather-related events, or horrific events experienced in other places. Parents will be struggling about what to say and how much to say. Having owned a child care facility in Oklahoma during the time of the Oklahoma City bombing, I would like to share some tips we Read more…
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A middle school teacher asks a tough question about tweens and divorce
A middle school teacher asked me a question that proved to be fairly thought provoking. I wanted to share his question and my thoughts toward his question. His question As a middle school teacher, I always wonder why some students deal very well with divorce, while others don’t? I would never make the assumption that they don’t do well, because many do. On Read more…
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How the Ashley Madison scandal will affect children
In recent weeks the breech of data from the website called Ashley Madison has disrupted millions of lives and compromised countless families. On Wikipedia you can read how in July of this year hackers stole user data from a commercial website called Ashley Madison. This site is billed a vehicle to enable extramarital affairs. The hackers have now released 25 gigabytes of company data including Read more…
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What happens when you have the “warm fuzzies” for challenging children
Take a moment to think of someone you care about or someone that has impacted your life in a positive way. There are a lot of people that have impacted my life especially in ministry. When I think of one lady in particular and how she has blessed me down through the years I get the “warm fuzzies”. You know that feeling where Read more…
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Question of the week: Do elementary age children “cut” or self-harm?
This might seem like a strange question to many of us especially for people who work with and minister to children. Is it really possible that young children want to self-insure or hurt their own bodies? Most of us have heard about teenagers that cut and self-harm but how many of you have dealt with an elementary age child who is cutting? I Read more…
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Talking to Kids about the Tornado in OK
I grew up in Bartlesville, OK. I have heard about tornadoes my entire life. I owned two child care programs in OK for over twenty-five years. As a kid I remember going into the hallways at school and putting my hands over my head while crouched down on my knees. In childcare we practiced relentlessly with the children. The fire department recommended which Read more…