Archive for September, 2014
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Question of the week: Can you help me understand child visitation arrangements?
“I understand the ‘every other weekend’ visitation schedule. I understand a child visiting the other parent on holidays and during the summer. But we have kids in our church whose attendance is so sporadic. We never know when they are going to show up.” “We have custodial parents who say they have custody but they come to us with horrific tales of woe. Read more…
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Fracturing and fracking of families
Recently a church leader expressed to me, “I know people used to think that divorce was damaging to kids but today divorce is so accepted. Why is divorce an issue for the kids? I mean, aren’t about half their friends divorced? So it’s not like they feel all alone any longer.” The leader is partially right– divorce is more widely accepted in our culture. It Read more…
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Got kids in trauma? Got adults with disorders? Might be a connection
In a post last week, Trauma-Informed Churches, I referenced a study that has tremendous implications for people working with children and adults who experienced early adverse childhood experiences. On the website “Ministry Best Practices” they have an incredible infographic with their article, “Adulthood Disorders Linked to Childhood Trauma”. This inforgraphic would be great to hang in children’s minister’s offices because it would be Read more…
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Questions of the week: How many kids in my area are caught in a family crisis?
How many live in single parent homes in your area? Have you seriously thought about the hundreds and maybe thousands of children in your area and their home situation? A lot of times ministers and church leaders misunderstand the number of children in family crisis and in single parent homes in their community. It is important to understand statistics because these numbers help Read more…
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Trauma-informed churches
In our world today many children are experiencing early childhood trauma. We now know through a lot of research that childhood trauma can affect a child for the rest of their lives. The website ACEs too High (Adverse Childhood Experiences) explains through several articles and research reviews about how trauma in early childhood can affect a child’s behavior and health during childhood Read more…
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One bird alone is like a single parent alone
Starting in May birds from South America arrive in our area to nest. They nest along the causeway to Navarre Beach from May to mid-September. I live in that area and walk the Navarre Bridge and causeway each morning during the summer months. I watched as these birds claimed their territory and began nesting. The black skimmers are fascinating to watch as they Read more…
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Question of the week: Help! We have an unruly kid and nothing works. What do we do?
It can be so frustrating when you have one kid or a couple of kids that disrupt the entire group. Everything you’ve learned about classroom management has been tried and the kid is still out of control. I understand. Sometimes you feel like it’s you and perhaps you just need to resign from working with kids. Does any of this sound familiar? This Read more…
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1 HUGE mistake we’ve made with the child of divorce
Often, when kids of divorce show up in your church classes they may exhibit unruly out of control behaviors. Your teachers and volunteers will ask a question like: “What on earth could be causing these kids to act like that?” They may wonder if there is any discipline in the home at all. It is not that their parent is a bad parent or that Read more…
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One simple technique that changes how you discipline kids of divorce
Ever heard the phrase “practice makes perfect”? That may be an old familiar phrase, but it is incorrect. Makes no difference how many times you practice something wrong, it will still be wrong. In other words “perfect practice makes perfect.” Allow me to explain how practicing something will help you discipline children of divorce. Many times when working with an out of control Read more…
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Question of the week: What precautions should we take when publishing pictures of children in our ministries– especially kids of divorce?
The other day I was on one of the children’s ministry Facebook groups. This is a closed group where children’s ministers discuss … children’s ministry things. The discussion was about publishing pictures of kids in different church activities on social media. As I read all of the ideas about how to obtain permission and how to handle things, it was clear that hardly anyone was discussing Read more…
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Putting a face to the Ice Bucket Challenge
© Anthony Quintano used under Creative Commons license Rarely do I use this blog for personal issues but today I want to share with all of you from my heart. You see all of these Ice Bucket Challenges have affected me deeply. Let me tell you why something as simple and funny as someone dumping a bucket of ice over his or her Read more…