Archive for May, 2017
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How long is a “minute” for the child of divorce?
For children of divorce, a minute can feel like an eternity, or it can zip by at lightning speed. Their perception of time’s passage is colored by the events in their lives—visitation with the other parent or the pain of a particular situation. Why? Let me paint a picture for you. A typical conversation in the house of an eight-year-old boy on Read more…
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Question of the week: What should I say when a child asks where his father who disappeared at birth is?
When a child who’s never known or doesn’t remember his father asks, “Where is my dad?,” keep in mind that a lot of issues may prompt this question. The child might not be looking for different information than you think he is. Or the child might be asking more than where his dad physically is today. I recommend first talking to the single Read more…
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10 Reasons why children of divorce don’t want to attend your church
“What will people at church think of me?” “I don’t want to be singled out.” These statements are only two of the many reasons children of divorce might not feel comfortable in your church. New environments are just hard for some kids to accept, but children of divorce have more reasons they don’t want to be in your church. In my work, I’ve Read more…
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Never discount the power of a praying child
Those of us in children’s ministry have experienced children praying, and we’ve seen the Lord answer those prayers. I’ve heard everything from “Please pray for my cat to come home” to “Please pray for my daddy come back home.” I’ve also heard prayers such as “Tell my brother to stop hitting me” and prayers for other children, “Help Piper get over her cold.” Read more…
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Question of the week: How do I help parents tell a 6, 7, or 8 year old children they are divorcing?
If you are a children’s minister, parents in your church have probably asked you this question. Or you may have been stunned when children tell a class or group that their parents are getting a divorce. Although none of us want children to face their parents’ divorce, it is a reality happening in our world today. It is best if you know Read more…
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Stress-busting tips for kids in divorce
Major stress can send an otherwise normal kid straight into panic mode. Imagine the impact of stress on the child of divorce—or any child of a traumatic situation! Stress is the body’s way of reacting to challenging or frightening events. Clearly, divorce is a major stressor for the children who are impacted. These children become the disruptive kids in your groups. They need Read more…
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Remembering and celebrating single moms on Mother’s Day
Single moms deserve the honor of being acknowledged on Mother’s Day. When you get to know a single mom you begin to realize they are the most determined group of people you will ever meet. Here are just a few things that is takes to be good single mom Grit Gumption Fortitude Gentleness Dedication Strength Loyalty to your convictions An enormous amount of Read more…
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Question of the week: Can children of divorce multitask effectively?
Multitasking is the source of many behavior problems that you see in children of divorce. What do I mean by that? Well, hold on as I explain. Recently, while reviewing research on the brain, I read that multitasking is a myth—your brain can only focus on one thing at a time. As I thought about this idea, a lightbulb went off in my Read more…
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Why kids of divorce don’t feel safe (Part 2)
Children of divorce might not trust you. And in children’s ministry, that’s a real problem. I want to show you how to build their trust. Establishing trusting relationships will enable you to meaningfully minister to these kids. Why children of divorce have trouble with trust When children fear something, they want and expect the adults in their lives to protect them and keep Read more…
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Question of the week: Does your children’s ministry mirror your community? WARNING – you may not like these numbers!
Recently I got a note from a friend of mine who wanted to share some numbers with me. This friend lives is in a typical middle-class neighborhood and teaches at the local public school. I don’t want to cause any problems for her with her job, so I’m not going to post exactly where she lives or the school district where she teachers. Read more…