Archive for February, 2017
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Question of the week: I have a divorcing mom asking me to talk to the dad about their child’s behavior. Should I intervene?
As a children’s minister, you need to decide if you are going to minister to the child or to the adults. If your goal is to minister to the child, then I would explain to the mom that your primary concern is for her child. Tell her you: Will walk closely beside the child Are in prayer for the child Will be happy Read more…
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Co-parenting that hurts kids and what you can do to help
Co-parenting or shared parenting among divorcing couples is becoming more popular. For many children this is a good thing. This means they get to have both parents making life-long decisions for their welfare. It means children can still have family connections with both sides of the family. In our last post, Understanding co-parenting situations we talked about the three different models of co-parenting Read more…
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Understanding co-parenting situations
Co-parenting or shared parenting as it is more commonly called now is becoming the norm for divorcing couples and couples who are involved in cohabitation situations. The marriage or relationship has ended but the family still exists. But what exactly is shared parenting? Shared parenting is when separating couples request the courts to award legal joint custody of minor children to both parents Read more…
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Question of the week: How long does it take a child to recover from the divorce of their parents?
The answer to this question can get complicated. Many divorcing parents think their children will get over the divorce fairly quickly. But what parents need to realize is while the adult life might go on and they will find a new partner, the children will never find another parent. The two parents will always be their parents. Most research shows that for adults Read more…
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“Do you love me?” ask the children of divorce
I have had many children ask me the following questions Does my daddy still love me? Do you think if my mom comes back home, she will love me again? How can Jesus love me when my own dad didn’t love me enough to stick around? Do you love me? Do you know I love you? Love, love, love, it is a basic Read more…
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Hurting children need heart-felt connections
Have you ever had a child get attached to you? I’ve had children who I knew were connected to me emotionally. The relationship between us was strong. I always hated it when I had to move and leave those kids behind. I knew there would be other people that would step in and new relationships would be formed. For the child of Read more…
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Question of the week: What are phrases, words, or questions can I use to help children of divorce in my ministry?
Sometimes as adults we get too caught up in the issue of divorce when little kids just want someone to talk to them and someone to listen to them. Kids get caught in the middle and many times they need neutral territory so they can let down, talk and not worry about hurting either parent’s feelings. Children’s ministers, volunteers, DC4K leaders and loving Read more…
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Empowering the helpless and vulnerable child
One of the tragedies of living in fractured families and the break up of a child’s home is the feeling of helplessness. Many adults who experienced the divorce of their parents report that, as children, they felt powerless and vulnerable. We now realize that the loss of dignity was another issue for many of these adults when they were children experiencing the break Read more…