Archive for October, 2016
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Are children of divorce resilient?
Back in the seventies when the divorce rate skyrocketed everyone was saying, “Children are resilient.” Many parents banked on their kids being resilient. Now all these years later we are finding that many of those so-called “resilient kids” were not so resilient after all. Many of the kids of divorce from that era are now adults and they are struggling in their Read more…
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What inclusive language do you use in your ministry to divorced kids?
How do you talk about, talk to, and describe children of divorce? Most of us know that when a child has special needs, we shouldn’t refer to that child as a “special needs child” but as “a child with special needs.” The special needs aren’t who the child is. For instance, if a child has ADHD, the child isn’t ADHD; rather, the Read more…
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Sleep deprivation can cause behavior problems in kids of divorce
Few people realize that many children of divorce are not getting enough sleep. When you think about it, it does make sense. Children naturally do better in an environment that feels safe, has a schedule along with consistent routines. Dad or mom moves out of the home and nothing is consistent any longer. Many children no longer feel safe and so sleep Read more…
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Is it better for parents to divorce when children are young or wait until the kids are older?
There are no good or right times for parents to divorce. Research shows and my experience has been that the younger the child is the more times they will process the divorce. In other words if their parents divorce when they are preschool or younger upon entering the public school arena they may question why other kids live with two parents but Read more…
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Divorce — the storm that devastates and keeps on devastating
When divorce became a trend in the early 1970s, we were told that children were resilient. If Mom and Dad were happy after the divorce, the kids would be okay. Over the years, however, we have learned that divorce affects children’s lives in deep, intense ways. Divorce is a storm that devastates the child’s family and the child’s life. Dr. Judith Wallerstein, a Read more…
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Should single parents quiz their kids about life at the other parent’s home?
I caution single parents to be careful about questioning what goes on in the other home. Kids of divorce can very quickly discern they have the “power” and will use it as a game. They may delight in watching you squirm as they tattle on the other parent. They will do the same at the other home. If you have allowed this game to get started, Read more…
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Teaching kids of divorce the value of money
Many pastors preach on finances from the pulpit. Some churches have financial advisors to assist people in their congregation. Helping families budget is important, and helping children understand the value of money can be part of that education. I think most of us agree that kids learn the value of money from their parents. However, how does that work when children live Read more…
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A single parent TV reality show at your church?
What if a divorced single parent family suddenly showed up at your church and un be known to you, they were involved in a T.V. reality show? When you found out, how would you handle things any differently than when you didn’t know? Stop and think about that for a few minutes. What attitude would you betray when you didn’t know? Most Read more…