Archive for March, 2018
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An Easter story – she did what she could
This Easter story has a little different slant than most posts you’ll read about Easter. This Easter story is written to capture the heart of anyone ministering to children of divorce, of single parents, or in blended families. A few years ago, right before Easter, my church minister Dr. Brad Reynolds preached on Mark 14. I had heard this chapter preached on Read more…
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Got kids in trauma? Got adults with disorders? Might be a connection
In a post last week about, trauma-informed churches, I referenced a study that has tremendous implications for people working with children and adults who experienced early adverse childhood experiences. The Ministry Best Practices website has an incredible article on “Adult disorders linked to trauma” and refers to an infographic with the article “The Impact of Childhood Trauma on Adult Disorders.” This infographic would be great Read more…
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Donuts for dads at church
Last fall, one school district in the area where I live had a “Donuts and Dads” day. It was centered on the “Dads, Take Your Student to School Day.” This was the second year of this brilliant idea. The first year, only fifty dads showed up for doughnuts. But this year word got out, and there were 300 dads who showed up Read more…
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Question of the week: How many kids in my area are caught in a family crisis?
How many live in single-parent homes in your area? Have you seriously thought about the hundreds and maybe thousands of children in your area and their home situations? A lot of times, ministers and church leaders misunderstand the number of children in family crisis and single-parent homes in their communities. It is important to understand statistics because these numbers help you see how Read more…
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Fracturing and fracking of families
Recently, a church leader expressed to me, “I know people used to think divorce was damaging to kids, but today, divorce is so accepted. Why is divorce an issue for kids? I mean, aren’t about half their friends divorced? So it’s not like they feel all alone any longer.” The leader is partially right—divorce is more widely accepted in our culture. It Read more…
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How to walk away from a power struggle with a child!
Have you ever been leading a group of children, and everything was going great when all of a sudden, you found yourself pulled into a power struggle? Or is there one particular child who constantly argues with you about every little thing? Many times, children of divorce seem to excel in power struggles. 3 reasons some kids want to be in power struggles Read more…
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Rite of passage and the child of divorce: How you can help
A few weeks ago, my step-grandchildren were visiting us. The eleven-year-old can’t wait until she turns twelve years old. Know why? So she can get a Facebook page. She also can’t wait until she is sixteen, so she can get her driver’s license. Her parents are smart in declaring rites of passage for certain things. Many kids in our world today are impatient Read more…
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Help bring predictability to the child of divorce
Children of divorce need predictability in their lives. This means it’s very important that children of divorce know they can depend on specific things happening at specific times. They often perceive their lives as out of control and in disarray. Here’s why predictability is important: Predictability lends itself to security. Unlike routines, rituals involve a special feeling of connecting with another human being. Read more…
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A child carries the treasures of his life hidden in his pocket
When children lose connections with important people in their lives, they may become attached to their “things.” Things and possessions bring a sense of comfort, control, and order to children’s lives. These things become substitutes for deep connections with parents and other loved ones. They replace many of the rituals they held important before life changed. I had the privilege of knowing one Read more…