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Linda Ranson Jacobs is one of the forefront leaders in the areas of children and divorce and single-parent family needs. More about Linda |
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Equipping local churches for ministry to the children of divorce. |
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Have you ever had a child who has experienced a crisis or trauma get attached to you? I’ve had children who I knew were connected to me emotionally. However, I had no idea of the depth of these connections. For the child of divorce and other life-changing traumas, it is a different kind of connection. They become attached not only to you but Read more…
Take a look at the new “sharpened” ParentZone with resources, to help single-parents and those supporting them. You can send single parents to the ParentZone to watch short videos to hep them during the time of parenting alone. Here are some samples: Parenting Goals & Expectations Tired & Overwhelmed Emotions & Stability: Anger & Anxiety Your Children & Your Fears You can Read more…
The following is from a children’s minister “There is a 4th grader in my ministry whose parents are on the verge of divorce. Things seem to have improved for now as they are seeking counseling. I have no point of reference for ministering to her, at least as it specifically relates to this situation. I identified that there was something going on with Read more…
When my grandson was three years old I moved into my daughter’s house and lived there for a year while she was deployed to Afghanistan. I noticed right away, the three year-old smiled all the time. This little kid was one happy little guy. He even smiled most of the time when he was in trouble. His smile and happiness rarely got him Read more…
Imagine looking like your father and being proud of that fact. Perhaps at some point in your young life your grandmother proudly said to her friends, “This is Sonny’s boy. Doesn’t he look just like Sonny?” And all of her friends proclaim that yes you were the spitting image of your father and you even look a lot like your grandfather. A smile Read more…
Have you ever been leading a group of children and everything was going great when all of a sudden you found yourself pulled into a power struggle? Or is there one particular child who constantly argues with you about every little thing? Many times children of divorce seem to excel in power struggles. 3 reasons some kids want to be in a power Read more…
It can be so frustrating when you have one kid or a couple of kids that disrupt the entire group. Everything you’ve learned about classroom management has been tried and the kid is still out of control. I understand. Sometimes you feel like it’s you and perhaps you just need to resign from working with kids. Does any of this sound familiar? This Read more…
Some children of divorce are excited to go back to school. Others are not. Here’s why. You’ll see both extremes among the kids in your ministry. No matter how you feel, there are things you can do to help them get off to a great start– and have a successful year. Begin the process by talking to the child’s parent. Ask if you can offer some Read more…
From a children’s minister friend: “I have several children who have been gone most of the summer. I suspect they went to the other parent’s home or to visit extended family out of town. These are kids we don’t really know much about. They just started attending our church last spring. When we’ve called or tried to contact the single parent this summer Read more…
A couple of years ago Jon Acuff posted the following on Facebook. Yesterday on my flight, a 13 year old boy who was traveling alone sat next to me. Before we took off he lowered the tray table in front of him, put his head in his arms and started sobbing. Big tears covered the tray as he wept in his seat I asked Read more…
One of the tragedies of divorce for children is the feeling of helplessness. Many adults who experienced their parents’ divorce report that, as children, they felt powerless and vulnerable. For the children it seems as though everything is out of control. Changing routines People moving out Things and belongings disappearing People disappearing such as neighbors if there is a move And this is Read more…
There are many single parents that have always had problems setting boundaries for themselves. For some the lack of ability to set personal boundaries is the reason they are parenting alone. Other single parents develop boundary problems when they begin to parent alone. Maybe it is due to the shock of becoming a single parent or perhaps it is the stress involved in Read more…
Single parents need to clearly, positively and assertively communicate boundaries to children. But in order to do this single parents must be able to have boundaries in place for themselves. Why are boundaries and guidelines so important to children? To help you understand the why of boundaries, let’s take a little trip. Let’s say that we have to go to an appointment. Read more…
Forgiveness can be a difficult, sometimes impossible subject to explain when interacting with children who have separated or divorced parents. Some children may have never had forgiveness modeled for them. Others have heard a parent scream sarcastically, such as, “I’m sorry you made me hit you.” These kids have no clue what you are talking about when you say the word “forgiveness.” Read more…
All kids like to collect things. Rocks, bugs, jewels, stamps, coins, and other small items become important to children. Sometimes the items are silly, fun things, while other times there might be a purpose to the art of collecting certain items. Some children turn their collections into hobbies. Boys who collect baseball cards and other sports memorabilia are good examples of collecting Read more…
Many times, we concentrate on the single-parent home where a child resides. But there are thousands of part-time single parents. These are the situations when the kids come to visit on the weekend. Part-time single parents need help and suggestions to create an emotionally and spiritually healthy environment for the kids. This information in this blog is to help single parents whose kids Read more…
About three years ago, we got a cute, little puppy. She was from a rescue organization, and she was not quite twelve weeks when we brought her home. She was a just a little mutt but still cute nonetheless. She was all white, fluffy, and just the sweetest, little thing. Oh, how I fell in love with her. She wasn’t without trials, Read more…
Recently, I read the book Cheering for the Children by Casey Gwinn. This is an amazing book, and while not written for church leaders or children’s ministers, it is a worthwhile read to anyone ministering to children, especially those who have experienced early trauma, including the divorce of their parents. Gwinn is a man who understands that children hurt by those they love Read more…
Several years ago, I had a man tell me, “Don’t leave these kids from divorced homes at the foot of the cross!” I wasn’t sure I’d heard what he said, so I asked him to repeat it. Don’t leave these kids of divorce at the foot of the cross! This was very confusing to me. I had to ask what on Read more…
We all know our children are the next generation. Unless adults make conscious efforts, they parent kids the way they were parented. Being parented doesn’t necessarily mean your mother or father raised you. For generations, people such as grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends have raised children. We have even had children raised by people once unknown to the children, such as foster parents. Read more…
Recover might not be an appropriate term to use. When you think of the term recover or look it up, the definition is “to return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength.” When you think of kids recovering from the divorce of their parents, you need to understand their lives will never return to their previous state. Things will always be Read more…
Allow me to share this story I think will help you understand how hard it sometimes is to move forward in life. One spring day, I was walking in my neighborhood. As I rounded the curve, I noticed a little girl who looked to be about five years old playing outside while her mom worked in the yard. When I came back Read more…
Several years ago, a lot of attention on social media was given to a teacher, Kyle Schwartz. She didn’t know much about the students in her class, so she set out to find out about them by asking, “I wish my teacher knew … .” She instructed the students to write their responses. The results from that one simple question astounded her. One Read more…
Many children come across as being mean or hurtful. However, most of these children just need help regulating their behavior. They don’t need consequences and punishments. Let me say it again: they need help regulating their behavior. How do you help a child who comes across as being mean? How do you have empathy for a child who is hurtful to others? I Read more…
I don’t believe in making kids apologize. You may be wondering if you read that correctly. Yes, I said, “I don’t believe in making kids apologize.” Stay with me on this because there are reasons I feel this way. And it is especially true for the child of divorce. Don’t get me wrong—it’s wise to teach children to apologize when they offend Read more…
Upon reading the post Dreading the summer as a single parent, a Single & Parenting leader responded with some concerns single parents had shared with her about the summer months. Daycare costs go up dramatically. One mom said she usually pays for after-school care and now will pay for full daycare. Her expenses are going from $250 to more than $800 a Read more…
Leaders: share this post with single parents! Parenting alone can be overwhelming. If you are a single parent, the following strategies can lift some of the burden of running your home: The responsibilities The chores The kids The car The laundry The appointments The kids’ activities The schedule changes The extra jobs or overtime So let me ask you: Are you up for Read more…
Many churches host camps during the summer months. Some are day camps children attend only during the day. Other are overnight camps. Summer camps can be wonderful experiences for children. A lot of children from two-parent homes wait excitedly to attend these fun, awesome camps. Not so much for many children in single-parent homes. Summer camps can become sticky and messy for Read more…
This is a tough issue. I have to confess I didn’t handle this one very well when I was a single parent. The first few times my children left for the weekend, I was lost and hurting. I have learned over the years how to approach this dilemma. This is one of those issues that unless you’ve experienced it or walked with Read more…
Today’s post is from guest writer Kathy Fallon.* Kathy shares with us her personal experiences of how she handled the summer as a working, divorced single mom. Share these wonderful ideas with the single parents connected to your ministry. When I was a single mom, I dreaded the summer. It was a time I still had to work, and the kids were out of Read more…
“Wook at me. I doing it” is really cute when a little toddler has learned to accomplish a feat, such as slipping on a jacket. We might smile and say something like, “Well, look at you! You put your jacket on. You did it.” Kids of all ages want to be noticed. Even as adults, most of us like to be noticed Read more…
Does divorce define who a child is? Ask these children. I’m divorced, says a seven-year-old girl. We’re divorced, my mom and me, says an eight-year-old boy. When my dad and I got our divorce…, says a ten-year-old girl. Why would children say these kinds of thing? They didn’t get divorced. However, you can hear many children, up through tweens and young teens, say Read more…
Depending on where you live, children will be getting out of school in the next few days and weeks. This means many children will be traveling across the country or town to spend the summer with their other parent. How do children’s pastors and church leaders help these kids have a good send-off? You may want them to understand you will miss Read more…
People ask me this question quite often. Usually, they are children’s ministry leaders or church leaders who don’t have much experience with divorce or single-parenting issues. Nationally, there is a huge debate on this issue. Let’s take a step back in history to help you understand some of the issues in this debate. In 1969, when then-Governor Ronald Reagan signed the no-fault divorce Read more…
On my morning walk, I noticed two birds chirping very loudly. One bird was on the right side of the street. The other bird was on the left side of the street. It seemed to me that they were conversing with each other. The one on the right chirped almost as if it were yelling. Then the bird on the left Read more…
Quite a bit of research shows that family meals are important in keeping kids connected to the family unit. Some research even says kids get better grades and are less depressed when families eat together. Unfortunately, with the hectic, busy lifestyles single parents lead, family meals are often the last thing they think about. On the way home after work and picking Read more…
Many children of divorce will experience tremendous stress. These children may express their stress through angry behavior. When a child is stressed and living in the survival mode or the fight or flight part of the brain they are incapable of learning, processing information or functioning in a reasonable manner. It becomes all about surviving in the moment. When you can get Read more…
Mother’s Day is coming up. Have you thought much about how you might honor the single mothers in your congregation? For me personally, Mother’s Day was one of the hardest days of celebration when my kids weren’t with me. I know other single moms who feel the same way. Many single moms purposefully don’t attend church on Mother’s Day when they don’t Read more…
Parenting alone can be a tough journey when one doesn’t feel well. Most single parents continue to go to work when they don’t feel well, so they can save their sick days for when their children are sick. But what happens when they face life-threatening illnesses such as cancer? I know there were a few times in my single-parent life when I got Read more…
Anyone who ministers to children of divorce will come across this issue at some point. Most of these kids struggle with chaotic schedules. Even as they need consistency, they cope with unstable and fluid timetables, a byproduct of separation or divorce. Past posts have addressed the importance of consistent schedules for children of divorce. At the beginning of the school year, there Read more…
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if every little kid who had divorcing parents or had experienced trauma of some sort showed up in your class stress free? Imagine a group where There is no fighting, arguing, or yelling. All the kids want to be involved. They want to form community. They care for one another. The group oozes kindness. Impossible, you say? I beg Read more…
Many things affect children when parents divorce. However, there is one big, overwhelming variable that causes kids of divorce angst and anxiety—and that is when parents continue to fight and war with each other. Parental conflict affects children for many years to come. When parents continue to fight, that does several things to the children in the family. Many times, kids are Read more…
If the regular guy on the street knew all the responsibilities and tasks a children’s minister is responsible for, they would be singing “Hail to the King/Queen” every time you walked by. Your job includes the height, depth and width of building the Kingdom of God Height: The physical work is overwhelming. You spend hours setting up for Sunday and hours tearing down Read more…
Today is our five-year anniversary. Wahoo! Just like a mother whose child is five years old, I wonder how it’s possible that our blog is five years old today. How can that be? I’m amazed, blessed, and just a little overwhelmed by the response to this blog. Kids & Divorce set out to educate children’s ministers and to help single parents. Along the Read more…
“We have a couple divorcing in our church. It appears there is a lot of conflict, and lately I’ve heard the term ‘parental alienation’ being thrown around. I’m not sure I understand what this is all about.” The term “parental alienation” first appeared on my radar back in the late seventies. It is a very tough issue to deal with. I’ve had the Read more…
Many children who are unlovable have experienced a crisis such, as the divorce of their parents or the breakup of their cohabiting parents. These children can be standoffish. They hold back and don’t seem to want to get involved in relationships with their leaders at church and school. This makes it difficult to love them and incorporate them into your church family. Connecting Read more…
Recently, I was visiting with a children’s minister. She was overwhelmed with some children in her church who were experiencing the divorce of their parents. Some were displaying exasperating, out-of-control behaviors. She sounded like she was about ready to throw in the towel and walk away. We recognize this as burnout. We all get that way sometimes. You know what I’m talking Read more…
“Nesting” is a term often used by family courts, lawyers, and divorcing parents. It means parents continue to share a residence after divorce for the sake of their children. The parents stay at the family home with the children when it is their scheduled visitation time. The other parent stays someplace else during that time. The thought behind doing this is that staying Read more…
This Easter story has a little different slant than most posts you’ll read about Easter. This Easter story is written to capture the heart of anyone ministering to children of divorce, of single parents, or in blended families. A few years ago, right before Easter, my church minister Dr. Brad Reynolds preached on Mark 14. I had heard this chapter preached on Read more…
In a post last week about, trauma-informed churches, I referenced a study that has tremendous implications for people working with children and adults who experienced early adverse childhood experiences. The Ministry Best Practices website has an incredible article on “Adult disorders linked to trauma” and refers to an infographic with the article “The Impact of Childhood Trauma on Adult Disorders.” This infographic would be great Read more…
Last fall, one school district in the area where I live had a “Donuts and Dads” day. It was centered on the “Dads, Take Your Student to School Day.” This was the second year of this brilliant idea. The first year, only fifty dads showed up for doughnuts. But this year word got out, and there were 300 dads who showed up Read more…
How many live in single-parent homes in your area? Have you seriously thought about the hundreds and maybe thousands of children in your area and their home situations? A lot of times, ministers and church leaders misunderstand the number of children in family crisis and single-parent homes in their communities. It is important to understand statistics because these numbers help you see how Read more…
Recently, a church leader expressed to me, “I know people used to think divorce was damaging to kids, but today, divorce is so accepted. Why is divorce an issue for kids? I mean, aren’t about half their friends divorced? So it’s not like they feel all alone any longer.” The leader is partially right—divorce is more widely accepted in our culture. It Read more…
Have you ever been leading a group of children, and everything was going great when all of a sudden, you found yourself pulled into a power struggle? Or is there one particular child who constantly argues with you about every little thing? Many times, children of divorce seem to excel in power struggles. 3 reasons some kids want to be in power struggles Read more…
A few weeks ago, my step-grandchildren were visiting us. The eleven-year-old can’t wait until she turns twelve years old. Know why? So she can get a Facebook page. She also can’t wait until she is sixteen, so she can get her driver’s license. Her parents are smart in declaring rites of passage for certain things. Many kids in our world today are impatient Read more…
Children of divorce need predictability in their lives. This means it’s very important that children of divorce know they can depend on specific things happening at specific times. They often perceive their lives as out of control and in disarray. Here’s why predictability is important: Predictability lends itself to security. Unlike routines, rituals involve a special feeling of connecting with another human being. Read more…
When children lose connections with important people in their lives, they may become attached to their “things.” Things and possessions bring a sense of comfort, control, and order to children’s lives. These things become substitutes for deep connections with parents and other loved ones. They replace many of the rituals they held important before life changed. I had the privilege of knowing one Read more…
“I’ve heard you speak at children’s ministry conferences about rituals and the child of divorce. What I want to know is why rituals are so important for the child of divorce.” Almost all children are ritual-makers. They automatically create rituals when they say hello or goodbye and in many other situations. Rituals help children connect with the people in their lives, whether Read more…
Many of us in children’s ministry have worried about children of divorce and whether their emotional needs are being met. Often, we ask, How do they cope with living in two homes? How do they get their emotional needs met when their parents are stressed to the max or still fighting and warring over their “things”? Children in divorced homes may need more Read more…
It may seem like most posts on this blog talk about the difficult sides of single parenting, but there are also funny and lighter sides to parenting alone. Today, I’d like to share a few of my lighter moments as a single parent. Mixed matched shoes When I was a single mom, the light bulb went out in my closet. My closet was Read more…
The mission field in the U.S. is screaming! There is such a huge need for Jesus in our communities. The mission fields your church might be flying over are the apartment complexes and the low-income housing down the street from your church. Don’t get me wrong. I highly support foreign missions. I think we should be going out into all the world Read more…
I It is really very simple—children do to others what has been done to them. Or they are hurting, little children, and their behavior is their voice screaming for help. In DC4K, or DivorceCare for Kids, we see children calming down and bringing their behavior under control when They learn they have a voice. They put a name to their feelings. Someone Read more…
Recently, I was asked if I had any research addressing how soon after separation kids should be exposed to the other parent’s new partner. This is a tough question, but if you are in children’s ministry, you might have to deal with it more often than you like. There are so many variables with this question. There are also a lot of articles Read more…
Recently, a grandmother who has been the primary caregiver for her toddler grandchild contacted me. One evening, her grandchild was returned after spending time with other relatives. When he came in, he rushed over and hugged her, which was his normal ritual. He then looked around her home and began to scream. She proceeded with her normal routine of getting him settled into Read more…
For years, people who work with children of divorce have wondered what the stages of grief are for these kids. One children’s minister asked me, “How can I help a child of divorce when I don’t know what the stages of grief are? Explain them to me, please.” Many have held onto the stages of grief developed by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. Basically, those stages Read more…
Children of divorce face many struggles on a daily basis. Because of these adversities, some children of divorce have out-of-control behaviors. It’s not because they want to misbehave or like misbehaving; it is because they are doing the best they can in their state of confusion. Many children of divorce who misbehave are actually seeking external regulation or management. In other words, Read more…
Many times down through the years, I’ve had children ask questions about God. When children’s parents are going through a divorce, surprisingly, many young children don’t question God’s existence. They question why God doesn’t stop the divorce or make Mommy come back home. Many children play the “what if” game: What if I had taken the trash out when Dad told me Read more…
It is important to pray for the child of divorce. Children’s ministers can be a major player in a child’s life by being an intercessory prayer partner. Many times, though, we don’t know how or what to pray for when interceding for the child of divorce. Here are ten ways to pray for children in your ministry whose parents are divorcing: Pray for Read more…
The teacher looked on as four-year-old Elsa clung to her mom and screamed, Don’t weave me, Mommy. Please don’t weave me. The teacher was confused because little Elsa had always loved coming to her Sunday school class. Mom seemed at a loss as to how to comfort Elsa and get her into the class. The teacher gradually moved into the scene, and with Read more…
Every year, the International Children’s Ministry group hosts a Children’s Pastor’s Conference, or CPC, as it’s called by all who attend. This week, the conference is in Orlando. I’ll be presenting a couple of breakout sessions. I get so excited to present to children’s people. The adrenaline starts flowing before I ever arrive. Children’s pastors are the most fun people on the Read more…
Many things are happening in children’s lives when their parents separate or divorce. Children don’t understand adult problems, and even though a lot of their friends have divorced parents, many children simply don’t know what the word “divorce” means. All they know is their parents were together, and now one parent is packing up to leave. In Divorced Kids by Laurene Johnson Read more…
Think of them as you would an “unreached people group”—except they live right in your own community, not in some faraway country. Today, according to the Annie E. Casey Kids Count Data Center, 35% of all children live in single-parent homes. Many of them are not involved in church and don’t know Jesus. Bottom line: their parents often don’t feel welcome in church Read more…
One must be aware of many things when ministering to children in divorced homes. However, ten important things are a must. Here are what I have found to be the ten most important items to know. Children need: Caring adults who understand that children from single-parent homes may constantly fear for their safety Adults who will not leave the children at the foot Read more…
We have a young mom whose husband left a few weeks ago. This family has attended our church since before the child was born. He is now 2 years old. Since the dad left, this toddler screams and holds on to his mom’s neck when she tries to bring him into the nursery. We usually end up asking the mom to leave her Read more…
For those of us who work with hurting children, another year has come and passed, and hopefully, we have made a difference. Those of us who have the honor of ministering to hurting children have richest job on the planet. We get the pleasure of ministering to innocent children who have an innate desire to love the Lord. “I love Jesus with Read more…
There are those around you who are dreading Christmas and the build-up to it. It’s easy to lose sight of this when you get caught up in the excitement of the season and the joy of celebrating the birth of our Savior. “Merry Christmas!” exclaim many Christians this time of the year. Just thinking of Christmas can bring warm feelings and memories Read more…
A children’s minister asked me this question recently. It inspired me to share these thoughts with you. Christmas is hard on many single-parent families. While some single-parent families are struggling to adjust to this new lifestyle, others have been single parenting for years. These are the single parents who are ready to serve and give back. From my observations over the past years, Read more…
I imagine when you saw this article title, many of you thought the rest of this phrase would be “my two front teeth.” You may remember that fun Christmas song “All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth” from childhood. The lyrics talk about how people stop and stare at a little child missing his two front teeth. The child wishes Read more…
. The following are true stories shared by children I’ve worked with, coached, or ministered to. My reason for wanting you to read these stories is for you to think ahead and be prepared when children in your ministry approach you to share what is happening in their lives. Kids are the innocent ones. They need your help. They don’t need for you Read more…
Have you ever moved to a new home? Remember the excitement of moving into a new place? As you unwrap every item and decide where it will go, you envision your life and your family in this new place. When my Air Force daughter and my son in-law were transferred back to the U.S. from overseas, I came to help with the Read more…
Many children in our world today have bad attitudes. These attitudes affect how parents, teachers, and church leaders treat them. Kids of divorce are no exception. As a result of all they’ve been through, many become bitter and sad. Those dealing with these kids interpret their bitterness and sorrow as attitude problems. If children of divorce don’t learn how to find joy, Read more…
A lot of people encourage divorcing parents to come together for holidays, such as Thanksgiving. People think it is in the best interest of the children. The premise is to create the image of one big, happy family. Although that might seem to work for the adults, for the most part, it is not a good idea where children are concerned. Psychologist Carl Read more…
Have you ever heard an excited, little kid yell, “We’re not getting a divorce! We’re not getting a divorce!” That isn’t something most of us get to hear. More than likely, what you have heard is a sad child mumble, “Mom and Dad are getting a divorce.” I have ministered to couples on the brink of divorce. I want you to know Read more…
One family minister sent me an email with the following: I’ve been ministering to some single parents in our church. It seems like they continue to just spin out of control all the time. We get one situation cleaned up, and something else pops up on the radar. He went on to give a list of situations these single parents had experienced: Read more…
What if I told you that More than likely you could increase the number of children attending your church substantially? You might very well be able to reach many more children for Christ than ever before this next fall? You could change many children’s lives for the better? You’re probably wondering how this could be possible. I mean, you work very hard Read more…
The other day, I was on a children’s ministry Facebook group. This is a closed group where children’s ministers discuss … children’s ministry things. The discussion was about publishing pictures of kids in different church activities on social media. As I read all of the ideas about how to obtain permission and handle things, it was clear that hardly anyone was discussing how Read more…
Finding volunteers to work in children’s ministry can be daunting, to say the least. I remember years ago when I was a children’s ministry director, finding helpers was the hardest part of my job. I would imagine it is ever harder in our fast-paced world today. When you have children of divorce in your ministries who might be out of control or have Read more…
It seems we have several kids of divorce who just aren’t excited about school. Other kids of divorce seem over-the-top excited. What’s the deal with these kids? It seems like I’m on a merry-go-round, and I’m not sure when to get off and which kids need my help the most. Kids who don’t want to go to school Many children of divorce are Read more…
Ever heard the phrase “practice makes perfect”? It may be an old, familiar saying, but it is incorrect. It makes no difference how many times you practice something the wrong way; it will still be wrong. Instead, “perfect practice makes perfect.” Allow me to explain how practicing something will help you discipline children of divorce. Many times when working with an out-of-control Read more…
Often, when kids of divorce show up in your church classes, they may exhibit unruly, out-of-control behavior. Your teachers and volunteers will ask a question like: What on earth could be causing these kids to act like that? They may wonder if there is any discipline in the home at all. However, it is not that the parent is a bad parent or Read more…
QUESTION: “We’ve used ‘time-out’ for years in our church, and now I hear you saying it doesn’t work. Please explain why you think it doesn’t work and what alternatives we can use.” Children of divorce have a lot on their minds. Their brains might be on overload just thinking about whose house they are going to after school tomorrow. They may wonder who Read more…
Have you ever been teaching a class or had a group where everything was going smoothly, and then all of a sudden, that child showed up, and everything fell apart? You know what I’m talking about. The frenzied, chaotic child who breezes into your group and brings the outside chaos inside. All of a sudden, bedlam and pandemonium reign. Children of divorce live Read more…
I get asked this question a lot. Usually, it is from a children’s minister or the person overseeing a church event, such as Vacation Bible School. I know immediately if this person has an understanding of children of divorce by whether he does or does not put the “s” on the end of parents. Rarely are children of divorce brought to church by Read more…
It might surprise you to know that some kids in two-parent homes have a lot in common with children of divorce. Even though this is a blog about kids and divorce, stay with me as I explain what I mean. Among the children who participate in your church programs, some in two-parent homes display characteristics that may not make sense. They come Read more…
What if I shared with you that you have the power to change interactions between parents and children in single-parent and blended-family homes? What if this I told you it is a suggestion that single parents and blended parents can incorporate very easily into their schedule? What is this miracle I’m talking about that will change children’s lives and help single dads and Read more…
Helping the single parent of a young child can be difficult when there is upheaval going on in the home. A children’s minister friend experienced this to me and sent me the following scenario. The mom was bringing her young son to church, but the little boy didn’t want to stay. “We’ve assigned one person to accept this little boy, and even if Read more…
When I was a young child and had just come to know Jesus Christ as my Savior, I thought the Lord might send me to a foreign mission field. I had grandiose ideas about going to South Africa and helping all the children come to know Christ. If not Africa, then maybe the Lord would send me to another foreign mission field Read more…
Ministry is hard work. Ministering to anyone connected to divorce takes a lot of energy and passion. For those who have experienced divorce in some way, such as being an adult child of divorce, being divorced, or having someone close to you go through a divorce, your passion is fueled by your personal experience. But what about a children’s minister or volunteer Read more…
DivorceCare for Kids (DC4K) is a comprehensive, church-based program that equips local churches to help children of divorce. It’s designed to work in parallel with the adult DivorceCare program (although DC4K can also run as a stand-alone program). DC4K created this blog to help church leaders and volunteers understand the issues faced by kids caught in the crossfire of a family breakup. I Read more…
