Allow me to ask you some of questions.
- Did you see any single mothers in your church on Mother’s Day?
- Did you take a few minutes to look around for a single mom sitting alone in your midst?
- Do you know why the single moms were not in church on such a special day?
For many single moms Mother’s Day is the worst of any holiday, even worse than Valentine’s or Christmas. If the single mom had her kids, then she would have been more likely to attend church. If her kids were with the other parent, then she probably didn’t come to church.
Not having your kids with you on Mother’s Day shouts, “you are not worthy of being celebrated because there is something wrong with you because you are divorced (separated, never married, etc.).” More than anything it shouts “failure”. This is especially true if it is a recent separation or divorce. The wounds are still fresh and the thought of being alone on a day when families are celebrating their mom can be very painful.
Why is it important to notice the single moms? Because every single mom represents a child in your community that could be attending your church and learning about the love of God and salvation through Christ His son. I don’t know that anyone has actually done a study on it but I would venture to say the percentage of single moms attending church on Mother’s Day without their children with them is less than 10%.
What can you do now?
You may be wondering now that Mother’s Day is over what can you do about it or why bother. Some of you are thinking you’re too busy but you promise to follow up next year. A year is a long time for a stressed single mom. A lot of hurt and pain will have flowed by her in a year and if she doesn’t fit or feel wanted in your church, she will continue this journey alone. Children will be lost to the Kingdom because mom will be less inclined to attend church the rest of the year.
What can you do now that Mother’s Day is over?
- Think back or check your church attendance records to see if single moms were in attendance on Mother’s Day.
- Send each single mom that wasn’t there an email, text or pick up the phone and give them a call. Better yet pick out a special greeting card and send it to them with a personal note.
- Be upbeat and friendly when you talk to them.
- Ask them what hindered them from attending church on Mother’s Day.
You might be surprised when the single mom starts talking. You may be blessed to learn what you could do to ease the pain next year.
In all the years I was a single mom no one ever asked me why I missed church on Mother’s Day. I wish someone had said something so I could have explained what it was like to come to church without my children on a day when mothers were being celebrated. There were years I couldn’t handle having to stand alone when they asked all the mother’s to stand.
- Pray for each single mom that didn’t attend church. Let them know they are being prayed for and over.
What else could you do to encourage a single mother?
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I appreciated this question. I am not a single Mom, but my children are grown and too far to spend time with on this special day. I see the need to recognize single Mom’s, especially Mom’s whose children are gone for any reason, on Mother’s Day.
One solution that I see working in our church is to have flowers ordered, enough for every Mom. During the service, all the kids come forward and grab bunches of flowers. All the Mom’s stand, and a child will deliver a flower to any Mom standing, wishing them a Happy Mother’s Day. When a Mom receives a flower, she sits down.
It is very special to receive a flower when your children are grown and gone and I would think it equally special to be greeted and given a flower as a single Mom. One simple way to acknowledge Moms whose children are present or not.
Sherry, what a great idea. Thank you for sharing. I hope churches will pay attention to this great idea as it will comfort many single moms on Mother’s Day.
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