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Linda Ranson Jacobs is one of the forefront leaders in the areas of children and divorce and single-parent family needs. More about Linda |
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Equipping local churches for ministry to the children of divorce. |
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For weeks, I’ve been posting questions of the week. These are questions that have been asked by children’s leaders and ministers. If you have a specific question about children of divorce you’d like answered, email it to me at ljacobs@dc4k.org, and I’ll answer it. This week’s question: Why don’t divorced kids come to Sunday school consistently? When children visit the other parent Read more…
Last week, we discussed listening to children of divorce. Part of listening to them includes noticing if they are giving you clues about being abused or neglected. Children of divorce will try to protect their parent if the parent or the parent’s significant other is the abuser. This is especially true if the abuser is the parent the child doesn’t get to Read more…
Children’s ministry people have said to me, “I don’t know anything about divorce, and I’m not sure I would pick up on clues a child might be giving me.” How does one know how to discern what is bothering the child when the parents are separating or divorced? Let me share with you a personal story that will help you understand how Read more…
One of the most precious scenes to witness on a Sunday morning is a new mom cuddling and holding her tiny, little infant. The love between the mom and her newborn baby radiates on her face. For some moms, it is almost painful to hand their newborn babies over to church nursery workers. The attachment between moms and newborn babies is already strong. Read more…
“We were all so excited when one of our single moms married a man in our church. Little did we know this guy had a history of abuse. One of her little kids was hurt pretty badly by this guy. The state got involved, and she and her children are safe now, but the one who was abused the most has started to Read more…
When a parent lives out of state and not close to children, it can be a real challenge to keep the relationship alive. However, there are several things you can do to help the long-distance parent stay connected. If the long-distance parent is in your church, offer the following suggestions. The main thing is to create a relationship with the child. It takes Read more…
When children of divorce are being raised in a two-parent home, most people call these two-parent homes stepfamilies or blended families. Blending two completely different families takes time—and much effort on the part of the parents and children in the new family. And remember, there are two additional “other” parents outside the family trying to blend. Quite often, those of us in children’s ministry Read more…
When I was a little kid, we had these fascinating contraptions called Japanese finger traps. I believe they are also called Chinese finger puzzles or Chinese finger cuffs. This novelty toy is a lot of fun for kids. The finger trap is a cylinder-like device. When you put a finger in each end and try to pull your fingers out, the cylinder tightens Read more…
Recently, I received the following question from a church leader who works with single parents and children: “I have a single mom whose young children, ages three and five, have been visiting their dad for the last six weeks. They come back Saturday. Do you have any advice I can give her as they transition back into her home?” First of all, I Read more…
We’ve discussed a lot about the incredible, amazing brain these past few weeks. Now, I’d like to pull it all together to help you think through how to use brain research to understand the children of divorce. To help you understand the hierarchical organization of the brain, I’m going to break it down into three main sections. Even though we can’t actually break Read more…
What if I explained to you that it is possible to have a child of divorce in your class who has a sustained attention span and can empathize with other children in the group? What if I told you that it is possible for the child of trauma to fit into your class and actually be in control of his behavior and Read more…
How many times have you had a child ask you, “Do you love me … ’cause I love you?” Those of us working in children’s ministry like to know that the little ones we work with love us. There are reasons some kids need to know and need to be told that you love them. Many children of divorce question if their parents Read more…
I realize many of you want no part of using drugs with kids whose parents have divorced or children who have experienced some sort of trauma. However, the drugs or chemicals I’m introducing here today will help you and make your ministry more effective when you use them. They are all natural, legal, and free. These four drugs have the ability to Affect Read more…
Ever have a sweet, little kid run up to you, throw his arms around you, and tell you how much he missed you this week? Ever have a grumpy, little kid snarl at you as he enters the classroom? He slides past you, goes over to the corner, and sits down. You already know from past experience that this kid is going to Read more…
What if you could give a child of divorce a magical moment? Many of us look for something good we can do for these children. We understand how stressful living in two homes can be. We understand the chaos these children live in. What if I told you there was a way—a very easy way—for you to make magical moments for the children Read more…
I want to share some profound brain science with you in a series of blog posts. Understand this information, and you’ll be better equipped to connect with and relate to the child of divorce and children who have experienced other traumatic events. Don’t let me scare you away. This isn’t leading-edge stuff, but it might be new to you or others in your Read more…
“I’m a children’s leader in my church. Why would I want to know about the brain when I’m with the child for only a couple of hours on Sunday and usually only every other week at that?” I realize that talking about the brain may seem like a medical issue, and you don’t think knowing about the brain will impact any of the Read more…
Many children of divorce live hectic, frenzied lives. This is partly because they live in two separate homes with different sets of rules, schedules, rituals, and people in the home. At the beginning of the divorce, their stress can be over the top as their minds are filled with chaos. Children with stressed-filled lives need clean, plain, simplistic decoration in their environment. Too Read more…
Many single parents can’t take a summer vacation. It might be because of finances, or possibly they don’t have vacation time. Even if they have vacation time, they may not be able to go anywhere. Single parents still need to connect with their kids, and staying home playing, cooking, and just being together can benefit single parents and the kids. The answer might Read more…
It’s Sunday morning crunch time, and you get an almost unanswerable question from a divorcing parent. More than likely, his kids are out of control due to the divorce, and he desperately needs help. How do you respond to such questions? One children’s minister asked for help in just such a scenario: “Give me a few short phrases that I can remember and Read more…
The other day, I took a walk on the beach in the early morning and happened upon a dad and son. The little boy, who appeared to be about four, was frolicking in the waves and splashing water everywhere. As I approached the scene, I could tell what was going on. I’d seen it so many times before. It was summer visitation between Read more…
If you are a pastor, kid’s minister, or teacher or you minister to children in any other way, someday you might be asked, “Do you think my mommy loves me?” I used to answer this question with a resounding, “Of course, your mommy loves you!” I mean, what kind of mother wouldn’t love her children? As the years have passed, though, and I’ve Read more…
Hundreds of children’s ministers, DivorceCare leaders, and Single & Parenting facilitators are being asked this question right now as summer visitation interrupts the lives of many kids and parents. Let’s clarify what many single parents are worried about. It might sound something like this: “I live far away and don’t get to have my children very much. Now it’s summer, and I just Read more…
Have you ever noticed that when summer rolls around, some regularly attending kids in your ministry seem to disappear? You begin to notice that along with the kids’ disappearance, the single parent is not active. You might have heard the children talking about visiting the other parent for an extended vacation, but what happened to their single parent who attends your Read more…
Summertime in churches can be an exciting time for children as school is out, and churches are gearing up for Vacation Bible School or, as it is known in church circles, VBS. Rooms throughout the church are decorated from top to bottom. The teachers have been trained. Supplies, snacks, and treats are ready to go. Music videos have been practiced, and the gospel Read more…
Many of us adults envy little children who don’t have to go to school or work every day during the summer. We wish we could have the summer off like the kids out of school. Maybe you imagine kids playing in a pool all day long or going to the beach. For many children in single-parent homes, however, summer proves to be Read more…
What do single or divorced parents do with their school-age children when school is out? This is a real dilemma many single parents face. The days are long, kids get bored easily, and events and activities cost more than the budget allows. Single parents often struggle to afford high-quality child care and recreational programs. Many single parents feel guilty over having to work Read more…
Many of the single parents you interact with are divorced. In their minds, and in their interactions with you, they draw a clear line defining life “before my divorce” and “after my divorce.” Is this healthy? Does labeling life “before the divorce” and “after the divorce” keep single parents from moving forward? Does it mean they are still struggling with their divorce and Read more…
For children of divorce, a minute can feel like an eternity, or it can zip by at lightning speed. Their perception of time’s passage is colored by the events in their lives—visitation with the other parent or the pain of a particular situation. Why? Let me paint a picture for you. A typical conversation in the house of an eight-year-old boy on Read more…
When a child who’s never known or doesn’t remember his father asks, “Where is my dad?,” keep in mind that a lot of issues may prompt this question. The child might not be looking for different information than you think he is. Or the child might be asking more than where his dad physically is today. I recommend first talking to the single Read more…
“What will people at church think of me?” “I don’t want to be singled out.” These statements are only two of the many reasons children of divorce might not feel comfortable in your church. New environments are just hard for some kids to accept, but children of divorce have more reasons they don’t want to be in your church. In my work, I’ve Read more…
Those of us in children’s ministry have experienced children praying, and we’ve seen the Lord answer those prayers. I’ve heard everything from “Please pray for my cat to come home” to “Please pray for my daddy come back home.” I’ve also heard prayers such as “Tell my brother to stop hitting me” and prayers for other children, “Help Piper get over her cold.” Read more…
If you are a children’s minister, parents in your church have probably asked you this question. Or you may have been stunned when children tell a class or group that their parents are getting a divorce. Although none of us want children to face their parents’ divorce, it is a reality happening in our world today. It is best if you know Read more…
Major stress can send an otherwise normal kid straight into panic mode. Imagine the impact of stress on the child of divorce—or any child of a traumatic situation! Stress is the body’s way of reacting to challenging or frightening events. Clearly, divorce is a major stressor for the children who are impacted. These children become the disruptive kids in your groups. They need Read more…
Single moms deserve the honor of being acknowledged on Mother’s Day. When you get to know a single mom you begin to realize they are the most determined group of people you will ever meet. Here are just a few things that is takes to be good single mom Grit Gumption Fortitude Gentleness Dedication Strength Loyalty to your convictions An enormous amount of Read more…
Multitasking is the source of many behavior problems that you see in children of divorce. What do I mean by that? Well, hold on as I explain. Recently, while reviewing research on the brain, I read that multitasking is a myth—your brain can only focus on one thing at a time. As I thought about this idea, a lightbulb went off in my Read more…
Children of divorce might not trust you. And in children’s ministry, that’s a real problem. I want to show you how to build their trust. Establishing trusting relationships will enable you to meaningfully minister to these kids. Why children of divorce have trouble with trust When children fear something, they want and expect the adults in their lives to protect them and keep Read more…
Recently I got a note from a friend of mine who wanted to share some numbers with me. This friend lives is in a typical middle-class neighborhood and teaches at the local public school. I don’t want to cause any problems for her with her job, so I’m not going to post exactly where she lives or the school district where she teachers. Read more…
I’ve heard church leaders question the necessity of family meetings for single-parent homes. Some have even asked, “Aren’t these broken homes, so what good would family meetings do?” When it comes to single-parent families, there are some broken homes, and there are emotionally and spiritually healthy homes. Both types can benefit from holding family meetings. 10 reasons to encourage family meetings in single-parent Read more…
Children of divorce can be disruptive, and many times, the adult standing in front of them doesn’t know what to do. Here are two really easy techniques to use. Tip #1 Don’t ask the child any question whose answer you already know. It tends to take away the dignity of the child. More than likely, the child knows you know the answer, so Read more…
Recently, I got the following question from a children’s pastor. “I have a nursery worker who I found out is experiencing a divorce. I don’t know how to help her. She is one of my best nursery workers, and she has been in our nursery for years. I’m worried her personal situation is going to affect how she interacts with our infants Read more…
I love getting uplifting emails and Facebook messages from people who minister to children. The following message is just too sweet to keep to myself. I pray that it blesses you as much as it did me. This message comes from Randy Smith, a businessman in his community and a lay leader who coordinates and oversees DivorceCare, Single & Parenting, and DivorceCare Read more…
The January/February 2017 cover of Children’s Ministry Magazine says, “How changed hearts, change hearts.” I love this phrase. It is what I’ve touted for years, except I have left off the word “how” and simply said, “Changed hearts, change hearts.” In the article “How to transform the heart of your ministry from perfect programs to rooted relationships,” author Dan Lovaglia talks Read more…
God designed all of us to want to belong. He made us relational and gave us the need to be in relationships. Children of divorce, too, have an innate desire to belong. First and foremost, God wants these children to be in relationship with Him as their Creator, second, with His Son, Jesus Christ, as their Savior, and lastly, with other people. Read more…
Divorce hurts children in many ways. It affects every area of their lives. And hurting children hurt others. When divorce hurts children to the very core, and there doesn’t seem to be any help or future for them, many times, they hurt others. They feel lost in a sea of adversity and confusion. Today, we have Infants and toddlers crying incessantly and refusing Read more…
Recently a children’s leader said she has a boy that is disruptive and doesn’t pay attention. In one of the smaller groups last Sunday she overheard him say something about “court”. She said, I don’t know if I should say something to him or ask him any questions. I don’t know anything about his family. Someone drops him off and they don’t check Read more…
I’m always on the lookout for resources that can help us better minister to children of divorce. Right now, I’m reading Last Child in the Woods by Richard Louv. This book verifies what I’ve thought for years about stressed-out children: stressed kids and children with ADHD and other behavior disorders need to be outside. Louv says they have a “nature-deficit disorder.” Overall, kids Read more…
Why do children of divorce wonder, Where will I sleep tonight? These children face many stressful issues, and sometimes wondering where they will lay their head is a big worry. To adults, this might sound a little ridiculous. We all know where we will sleep tonight. Children of divorce, though, do actually worry about this question. Even with a schedule and consistency in Read more…
Single parents frequently ask me for help disciplining their children. Remember, single parents are doing it alone and have no one in the house to help them parent late at night or during the day. It can get overwhelming, to say the least. Here are eight examples of questions I get about parenting alone. Sometimes, single parents need more in-depth answers depending, Read more…
Today, I describe extreme situations that might affect your children’s ministry. I hope you never have to deal with these situations, but in today’s environment, you need to be prepared. “What do I do if an abusive parent shows up to kidnap his or her child? What if the parent is armed?” I was asked this question at a recent children’s pastors’ event. Read more…
In our last post “When kids of divorce explode emotionally, how do you help the parent?” we discussed how to help the single parent whose child explodes at home. But what do you do when an emotional explosion happens at church? You can’t send the child to his room. You must handle the explosion at the moment it happens. Many ways we deal Read more…
In ministering to children of divorce and single parents, it is important to realize that single parents might need to quickly change how they discipline. They’ve moved from a two-parent partnership to a one-parent home. What worked before might no longer work for the single parent. It can be scary to parent alone, especially when children exhibit behaviors not normal for them. This Read more…
How would you respond to this message? Dis-invited from a zoo trip My granddaughter’s father decided to not invite her (rather, to dis-invite her) to a zoo trip with his girlfriend and her two children, saying that his girlfriend wanted to spend the day with just her girls and him. My granddaughter shrugged it off, saying, “Well, I’ll probably get rejected by a Read more…
I have ministered to thousands of children in my lifetime and learned that all kids influence those in ministry in some way. Sometimes, it’s a kid who you wonder if you can ever reach. Or it’s a child whose behavior can be called challenging, at best. Many times, I’ve walked out of church wondering why on earth I’m still in ministry to Read more…
A kindergarten child was asked to draw a picture of his family. The child started the picture and then ripped it to shreds. The picture above is what was left of the child’s original drawing. An assistant in the room thought the child was being disrespectful and out of control. She was ready to punish the child. When ministering to the children of divorce Read more…
As a children’s minister, you need to decide if you are going to minister to the child or to the adults. If your goal is to minister to the child, then I would explain to the mom that your primary concern is for her child. Tell her you: Will walk closely beside the child Are in prayer for the child Will be happy Read more…
Co-parenting or shared parenting among divorcing couples is becoming more popular. For many children this is a good thing. This means they get to have both parents making life-long decisions for their welfare. It means children can still have family connections with both sides of the family. In our last post, Understanding co-parenting situations we talked about the three different models of co-parenting Read more…
Co-parenting or shared parenting as it is more commonly called now is becoming the norm for divorcing couples and couples who are involved in cohabitation situations. The marriage or relationship has ended but the family still exists. But what exactly is shared parenting? Shared parenting is when separating couples request the courts to award legal joint custody of minor children to both parents Read more…
The answer to this question can get complicated. Many divorcing parents think their children will get over the divorce fairly quickly. But what parents need to realize is while the adult life might go on and they will find a new partner, the children will never find another parent. The two parents will always be their parents. Most research shows that for adults Read more…
I have had many children ask me the following questions Does my daddy still love me? Do you think if my mom comes back home, she will love me again? How can Jesus love me when my own dad didn’t love me enough to stick around? Do you love me? Do you know I love you? Love, love, love, it is a basic Read more…
Have you ever had a child get attached to you? I’ve had children who I knew were connected to me emotionally. The relationship between us was strong. I always hated it when I had to move and leave those kids behind. I knew there would be other people that would step in and new relationships would be formed. For the child of Read more…
Sometimes as adults we get too caught up in the issue of divorce when little kids just want someone to talk to them and someone to listen to them. Kids get caught in the middle and many times they need neutral territory so they can let down, talk and not worry about hurting either parent’s feelings. Children’s ministers, volunteers, DC4K leaders and loving Read more…
One of the tragedies of living in fractured families and the break up of a child’s home is the feeling of helplessness. Many adults who experienced the divorce of their parents report that, as children, they felt powerless and vulnerable. We now realize that the loss of dignity was another issue for many of these adults when they were children experiencing the break Read more…
In our world today the majority of kids coming to us from our communities live in some type of fractured family. These children come to church in a state of brokenness. Whether it’s the Child with newly divorced parents Child living with grandma or in kinship care Child in a blended family Child in foster care They will have issues that need to Read more…
This past weekend found me taking care of a couple kids whose single mom had to work. I really don’t mind these cute little girls spending the day with me at my house. I’ve kind of adopted these elementary age girls as my grandchildren. These girls have had a pretty rough time in their short lives. They were away from their mom for Read more…
Experts tell us that when children feel fear, they aren’t able to learn and absorb information normally. When a child feels unsafe, the “learning brain” begins to power down. Learning becomes difficult if not impossible. Clearly, a child suffering through the divorce of her parents does not feel safe. I’d like to explain how she processes the information you are trying to teach Read more…
Words can be powerful when they are used in the right context. Usage of kind words can motivate children. Unkind and cruel words can hurt children. I’ve seen well-intended words devastate the child of divorce. Let me explain how they might hear things that are said in front of them or things you might say to them. Think of the child of divorce who Read more…
“When my mom told me they were getting a divorce, I got confused. I didn’t understand what divorce was. I just knew my dad was moving out. I didn’t understand he was moving out – moving out. I thought he was visiting a friend for a few weeks. I didn’t know what was going to happen to me and my sister. I was Read more…
Many children living in divorcing single parent homes experience tremendous stress leading to some out of control behaviors. When they come to your church, your volunteers question what on earth could be causing these kids to act like this? They may wonder if there is any discipline in the home at all. It is not that their parent is a bad parent or Read more…
The answer to this question might depend on the person you ask. If you ask a parent who is barely surviving, that answer is going to be “no” simply because they can’t see the behavior problems standing in front of them. These parents are in a fog because it is just the best they can do at the moment. When the third Read more…
My daughter on duty in Afghanistan. Right about now I figure most of you are pretty stressed. From fall festivals through Christmas celebrations life can get pretty hectic for those in church ministries. You have the heart to minister. All year long the Lord has given you opportunities to further His kingdom through ministries to children and families. Now it is time Read more…
Those of us who work with children most likely have heard all about the gifts they want for Christmas this year. Most kids dream about the presents they will unwrap Christmas morning. And let’s face it—many of us adults have a few things in our minds we’d like for Christmas, too. We know that Christmas is gift-giving time. It started with the Read more…
We’ve posted quite a few articles the past few years to help you help the children of divorce and the single parents in your church. Following is a summation of some those articles. I pray you are able to use these to minister to the hurting in your church and that they open the eyes to many ministers and volunteers who work with Read more…
As a children’s minister, have you ever encountered a single parent who asks you about spending the holidays with his ex? The children might be pushing the adults to do this. The single parent wants to please the kids but is seeking your input. How will you respond? In this article, you will discover some points to think about before answering the single Read more…
We’ve talked a lot on this site about the hurting child of divorce and the various ways of ministering to these children. If you have been ministering very long to the child of divorce you know that while they indeed are hurting deeply, some of these children have figured out how to play the two parents against each other to get what they Read more…
Do you remember the commercial for Chick-fil-A where the spotted cow puts up signs saying, “Eat mor chikin?” I always get a kick out of the way the “cowz” come up with different ways to supposedly keep one from eating beef. This food chain has come up with a unique way to promote its sell of chicken. Today I wish I had a unique Read more…
A young single mom entered my class one Sunday close to Christmas. She was almost trembling and I could tell she was very upset. She just stood there looking at me and when I asked, “What’s wrong?” She said, “I need a hug.” Single parenting is tough almost all the time. But Sundays seem particularly hard for single parents. It could be that Read more…
In your ministry, it’s likely that you’ve observed single parents and kids who develop a lot of anxiety about the process of shuttling the children between homes. This stress will be amplified during the holiday season. The switching hour, the time the kids switch between homes, can become less stressful if single parents work at making it normal. I’d like to give Read more…
Many children’s pastors have approached me with questions about when other people in a single parent’s life should discipline the kids. Children’s pastors and other volunteers who deeply care for the kids want what is best for the children in these families. Many times, we hurt for kids when we see a little boy who needs a father figure and a teen girl Read more…
On Veteran’s Day and various holidays supporting the military, it is a good time to talk about celebrating the military single parents and their children in your congregations. This can be single parents who are currently serving or have served in our military. If you have children of a deployed single parent in your group, send a Facebook message, text or an email Read more…
Even though divorce isn’t as rampant as it was back in the seventies and eighties, children now face a new divorce dilemma, which can affect them in deep and profound ways. What dilemma am I talking about? I’m talking about when grandparents divorce. Steve Grissom says in the Gray Divorce Crisis that the largest group of people divorcing is the Baby Boomers, Read more…
Back in the seventies when the divorce rate skyrocketed everyone was saying, “Children are resilient.” Many parents banked on their kids being resilient. Now all these years later we are finding that many of those so-called “resilient kids” were not so resilient after all. Many of the kids of divorce from that era are now adults and they are struggling in their Read more…
How do you talk about, talk to, and describe children of divorce? Most of us know that when a child has special needs, we shouldn’t refer to that child as a “special needs child” but as “a child with special needs.” The special needs aren’t who the child is. For instance, if a child has ADHD, the child isn’t ADHD; rather, the Read more…
Few people realize that many children of divorce are not getting enough sleep. When you think about it, it does make sense. Children naturally do better in an environment that feels safe, has a schedule along with consistent routines. Dad or mom moves out of the home and nothing is consistent any longer. Many children no longer feel safe and so sleep Read more…
There are no good or right times for parents to divorce. Research shows and my experience has been that the younger the child is the more times they will process the divorce. In other words if their parents divorce when they are preschool or younger upon entering the public school arena they may question why other kids live with two parents but Read more…
When divorce became a trend in the early 1970s, we were told that children were resilient. If Mom and Dad were happy after the divorce, the kids would be okay. Over the years, however, we have learned that divorce affects children’s lives in deep, intense ways. Divorce is a storm that devastates the child’s family and the child’s life. Dr. Judith Wallerstein, a Read more…
I caution single parents to be careful about questioning what goes on in the other home. Kids of divorce can very quickly discern they have the “power” and will use it as a game. They may delight in watching you squirm as they tattle on the other parent. They will do the same at the other home. If you have allowed this game to get started, Read more…
Many pastors preach on finances from the pulpit. Some churches have financial advisors to assist people in their congregation. Helping families budget is important, and helping children understand the value of money can be part of that education. I think most of us agree that kids learn the value of money from their parents. However, how does that work when children live Read more…
What if a divorced single parent family suddenly showed up at your church and un be known to you, they were involved in a T.V. reality show? When you found out, how would you handle things any differently than when you didn’t know? Stop and think about that for a few minutes. What attitude would you betray when you didn’t know? Most Read more…
In part 1 of “Keeping siblings together at church events” we talked about how attached children of divorce get to their siblings when traveling between homes. In this post we learn that many times when a child experiences the divorce of their parents, it affects their schoolwork. It is not unusual for a child to lose an entire school year due to the Read more…
God’s design for children is for them to depend and rely upon their parent. For instance when they wake in the middle of the night and they are scared they run to their parents. Their parents are the trustworthy adults who lead their family. When a divorce happens children can no longer turn to the parents as a unit. When it’s time Read more…
This article stems from an email I got several months ago. Here is that email. I have been divorced for three years. My ex-wife no longer practices the morals and/or values in which I believe. In short, my ex-wife is an expert at covert manipulation (toward the kids) and causing problems. She’s like a pyromaniac setting a house on fire then going to Read more…
Ministering to the children means knowing something about their single parent and understanding the family situation. Situations are not always what they appear to be. A couple of years ago a leader of a DivorceCare group contacted me. She had a lady from another church in her group and she had received a call from this participant’s pastor. While the pastor was appreciative Read more…
A few weeks ago my thirteen-year-old grandson, my husband, and I were walking on the beach one evening. We were so busy talking and looking for seashells that I didn’t see a storm moving in. By the time we noticed the huge black cloud in the picture above moving over us, we were a mile and a half from our car. As Read more…
While younger children may revert back to separation anxiety that equates to a toddler separating from their parent, older children of divorce may have issues also. The older child of divorce worries and wonders about many issues concerning the divorce. The thoughts whirling around in their heads and the stress they are under can interfere with the start of school and throughout the Read more…
Within half an hour of arriving in your group, Braden has tripped over a chair, fallen into another kid, walked into the end of a table, and caused mass confusion when he came to the worship time and bumped into several kids already singing and praising the Lord. Friends are frustrated with him. Others are mad at him for hurting them. Volunteers are Read more…
Recently a friend of mine had a child start kindergarten. This past summer this family moved from one state to another. While everything seemed to be going great the first day of school brought tears, screams and an all out tantrum of “don’t leave me.” This mom was caught off guard and did not know what to do to help her child. Children Read more…
A single mom approaches you about a problem she is having with her son. He doesn’t want to come to church anymore—she’s not sure why, but she suspects it’s because he doesn’t fit in. While this is disappointing, you have noticed that her son is always late. By the time he arrives, the other kids are involved with each other. High fives Read more…
Many children in single parent homes are going to need encouraging words to get off to a good start this school year. This is especially true if the parents separated this past summer. Their minds could be swimming with questions. The last thing they want to do is try and concentrate. Or perhaps they spent the summer with the other parent, grandparents and Read more…
All children need schedules and familiar routines but children of divorce especially need someone to advocate the importance of schedules and routines for them. Some children of divorce have several different schedules to follow. Imagine trying to remember what schedule you have to follow and thinking, “Am I at dad’s or mom’s?” Or “Do we take a shower before bed or when Read more…
