Archive for October, 2018
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Got grouchy kids this week?
What are the two most difficult days out of the entire year for the child of divorce? Want to try and guess what they are? Christmas? Thanksgiving? Valentines Day? Halloween? Birthday? Did you pick any of the above? These are all good guesses and for many children some of these days are difficult. But the two days that cause havoc with the Read more…
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When children have heart attacks
For years children have told me their hearts hurt. When I ask them where it hurts, they will lay their little hands over their hearts and say, “It hurts right here.” You might say these little ones are having heart attacks. We don’t usually think about little children having a heart attack. The kind of “heart attack” I’m talking about is affecting thousands Read more…
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Responses to “What you focus on you get more of”
Recently I published a blog post about the importance of focusing on what we want kids to do and not on what we don’t want them to do. In the article I state, “I focus on how I want the kids to act and how they should behave. I set the expectations and standards early on, like the minute they walk into our Read more…
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What you focus on, you get more of – think discipline!
I facilitate a DC4K, DivorceCare for Kids, group at my church. We have 14 kids registered. Some of the kids are already in step family situations. Some have half siblings. Some live with a grandparent, and all have experienced either a divorce or a separation of their birth parents. We have children from kindergarten through fifth grade in our group. Mixed ages work Read more…
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Kids of divorce need predictability. How do you give them that?
Today, we continue our exploration about the importance of “rituals” for the child of divorce. This post will focus on the need for predictability in the lives of children of divorce. It’s very important that the child of divorce knows they can depend on specific things happening at specific times. They often have the perception that their lives are out of control and in disarray. Read more…
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The legacy impact of divorce on children
Divorce often has a profound lifetime effect on the child of divorce. While not all divorce-related legacies affect every child, most children will have some repercussions from the dissolution of the parent’s marriage. Divorce affects every child differently – even children in the same families. Following are some of the short-term legacies that most children experience. Short-term Intense stress Overwhelming emotions Constant fear Read more…
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5 Misperceptions About Children of Divorce and Their Families
In order to minister to children of divorce, we have to understand them. Unfortunately, many people who minister to these children hold some common misperceptions about children of divorce and their families. They might not realize the extent to which these children are hurting. The following are five misperceptions people have shared with me about children of divorce and their families: “These kids Read more…
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Fidgety kids, ADHD kids, and kids who can’t sit still, oh my!
It appears our society has a real big problem with fidgety kids and kids who can’t sit still. More children are being diagnosed ADHD, Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. Children being diagnosed with ADHD went from 7.8% in 2007 to 11% in 2011. Many more teachers, childcare workers, church volunteers, and even parents wonder if the children in their situations are ADHD. Because of the Read more…
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“I hate Divorce,” says the Lord God of Israel
For some church leaders and children’s workers it may be hard to truly understand what happens with a child of divorce inside the child’s head, within the heart, and under the skin Plainly stated, children lose their family. They lose a mom and dad living together as a unit. While this may seem like it is a simple statement, it has monumental outcomes Read more…
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More things kids of divorce do well
After the last post about “Ten things kids of divorce do well,” people responded with more things these kids do well and I’ve been asked to update the lists of things these kids do well. Please understand these lists do not apply to all children of divorce. And not all things on the lists apply to every child. God creates all of us Read more…
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10 things kids of divorce do well
. Did you know that while divorce is heart breaking for children there are many things kids of divorce do well? Oh, maybe not at first but eventually as they heal and move forward with their lives, they have a few advantages over other kids who haven’t experienced the break up of their family. Here are some of the things they do well Read more…