Are you leaving children at the foot of the cross?





Several years ago, I had a man tell me, “Don’t leave these kids from divorced homes at the foot of the cross!”

I wasn’t sure I’d heard what he said, so I asked him to repeat it.

Don’t leave these kids of divorce at the foot of the cross!

This was very confusing to me. I had to ask what on earth was he talking about. He went on to explain:

I came to know Christ as a kid. I had a hard life early on. There was a lot of trauma in our family. One man mentored me and helped me come to know Christ as my Savior, but he left me at the foot of the cross. In other words, that man got me saved, but it never went any further than me accepting Christ as my personal Savior.

I didn’t come from a family that went to church. I didn’t understand the Bible, and it was hard for me to read and comprehend it. I had no one to go to in my family because I was the only one going to church.

What church leaders can do

  • Provide materials about God’s love and salvation for children’s single parents.
  • If children attend your VBS and accept Christ or have questions about Him, send information home, and then do follow-up contact with their single parents.
  • Remember to provide digital information parents can check from their private device (e.g., their phone, computer, or other hand-held device).
  • Assign an adult or a two-parent family with a child the same age to follow up with these children.
  • Send friendly messages to children for no other purpose than to stay in contact.
  • Keep reminding children that God is a heavenly father who will never leave or forsake them. Children of divorce have to have this repeated because many feel like one of their parents has left.
  • Some of these children may move around a lot. Develop a relationship with them early on, so when they move you will know their where they live.
  • Remember it is not about keeping them in your church—which we would all like to do—but about Kingdom purposes and bringing this child into the Kingdom.
  • If single parents don’t attend your church, invite them.
  • Present the plan of salvation to single parents if possible (don’t discount the power of the Holy Spirit in this matter).
  • Provide groups such as DivorceCare, GriefShare, and Single & Parenting when appropriate.

More than once, I have been surprised by a turn of events regarding single parents and their children. One single mom in North Carolina had four children who came to our DivorceCare for Kids group. The youngest one was just in kindergarten. After that session of DC4K, I moved to Florida to help my deployed daughter’s family while she was away.

The mom remarried and moved to another location. A couple of years after she moved, I heard from this single mom at Easter. She said her youngest son told her the Easter story the night before. She was amazed and asked how he knew so much about Easter. He said, “Miss Linda told me.”

To be honest with you, I don’t remember talking that much about Easter. Our group met in the spring and over Easter. To talk about Easter and God’s love for us and that He allowed His son to die for our sins and then be raised from the grave is normal for me. This family was not one of our “church families.” I have no idea if they attended church after their mom remarried. I do know the seeds were planted.

Are you leaving children at the foot of the cross? It is something to think about.


This article is updated and adapted from an article originally published on the Kids & Divorce blog on July 30, 2015.

DC4K blog posts are great for training children’s leaders and volunteers, and they are free. Subscribe now.

Want to learn more about how to start a DivorceCare for Kids group for the hurting children in your community?

Did you know DC4K blog articles are on Pinterest? Divorce & Kids, Children’s Pastors, Single Parents, they’re all there.

Follow dc4kLinda on Twitter.

Like our DivorceCare for Kids and Single & Parenting Facebook pages where we give awesome parenting tips for the single parents in your ministries.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.