Do kids ever recover from the divorce of their parents?


Recover might not be an appropriate term to use. When you think of the term recover or look it up, the definition is “to return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength.” When you think of kids recovering from the divorce of their parents, you need to understand their lives will never return to their previous state. Things will always be different.

That is not to say that kids can’t heal from their parents’ divorce. The children can move forward in their life journey, but things have changed. Unfortunately, for many kids, things change for the worse. Some children struggle for the rest of their lives with divorce issues.

Some kids learn from the heartache and the struggles of divorce. Divorce helps some children become cognizant of other people’s suffering. These are the kids who stick up for the ones being bullied. They have compassion for the kids who are hurting and suffering in some way.

I know my daughter became aware of classmates who were hurting. She became open to understanding their plight, even to the point of one time requesting that I meet with one of her classmates who couldn’t talk to her own mother. Today, in her adult life, she has compassion for children who are suffering.

My son is also compassionate. When he was in high school, he worked for a podiatrist. A few days after he graduated from high school, I got a call from the office where he had worked. The message said, “This is office of the doctor your son worked for this summer. We are sorry to see him leave, and this message is meant for his mother. We want you to know that your son is a very compassionate young man. He impressed us so much with his caring attitude. Even when he was sent to the nursing homes, he came back in a good frame of mind. He was always laughing and smiling and lifting us up with his attitude.” (Talk about a proud mama!)

I realize my children, along with millions of others, will always have the scars of divorce. The wounds have healed over, but the scars are there. Perhaps these scars remind them of the hurt and what went on in their young lives. Perhaps the scars help them be better adults.

The scars might remind them of 2 Cor. 1:3-7: Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,  who comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.  If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.”

I believe these kids are the ones who are connected to a loving church family. These are the kids who have a mentor or a Christian who picks up the slack in the single-parent home.

Back to our original question: Do kids recover from the divorce of their parents? No, but they move forward with their scars. Some live a better life; some kids do not. Some learn from their parents’ mistakes; some do not. For some kids, it takes years to move forward in healthy relationships and their walk with God; others pick up on healthier choices and spiritual traits right away.

So much to consider.

So much for the family of God to do to assist and mentor these families.


DC4K blog posts are great for training children’s leaders and volunteers, and they are free. Subscribe now.

Want to learn more about how to start a DivorceCare for Kids group for the hurting children in your community?

Did you know DC4K blog articles are on Pinterest? Divorce & Kids, Children’s Pastors, Single Parents, they’re all there.

Follow dc4kLinda on Twitter.

Like our DivorceCare for Kids and Single & Parenting Facebook pages where we give awesome parenting tips for the single parents in your ministries.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.