Question of the week: Why do you have so much compassion for troubled and disruptive kids?




It is really very simple—children do to others what has been done to them. Or they are hurting, little children, and their behavior is their voice screaming for help.

In DC4K, or DivorceCare for Kids, we see children calming down and bringing their behavior under control when

  • They learn they have a voice.
  • They put a name to their feelings.
  • Someone listens to them.

Children aren’t born mean. They might have some predispositions, such as depression and ADHD, but children don’t set out to be troublemakers or disruptive kids.

Generally, they learn by what has been done to them or modeled for them.

  • If someone has hit them—they will hit.
  • If someone has kicked them—they will kick others.
  • If someone has yelled at them—they will yell at others.
  • If someone has bullied them—they will bully others.
  • If someone has ignored their basic needs and not shown them trust—they will turn inward and not trust others.

The list goes on and on, but basically, hurt kids hurt others.

Families may start out great, but then divorce enters the scene. Parents get stressed. Adults begin to exhibit unfavorable actions and behavior. Kids get out of control.

My heart goes out to the children of divorce because most are calling for love. Love meaning

  • A need for relationships
  • A need for boundaries
  • A desire for one-on-one time with someone the child trusts
  • Receiving healthy touches, such as hugging and cuddle time with a parent/caregiver
  • Knowing someone cares
  • Modeling of appropriate interactions with others in a safe environment

I don’t believe God created any child to be thrown away, and our society is throwing these kids away by the millions.

I want them to see Jesus, feel Jesus, and get to know Jesus.

I want to introduce them the Father’s unconditional love and to a Heavenly Parent who will never leave them or forsake them.

What about you?


This article is updated and adapted from an article originally published on the Kids & Divorce blog on April 19, 2013.

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