Are children of divorce resilient?




Back in the seventies when the divorce rate skyrocketed everyone was saying, “Children are resilient.” Many parents banked on their kids being resilient.

Now all these years later we are finding that many of those so-called “resilient kids” were not so resilient after all. Many of the kids of divorce from that era are now adults and they are struggling in their adult lives.

We now know from much research that children can be resilient but there are some conditions that need to be met. In order to be resilient children of divorce need support systems around them.

Left to deal with things on their own most kids will not be resilient.

They will be

  • Lonely
  • Angry
  • Jealous
  • Combative
  • Sullen
  • Sad

And a host of other things, but they will not be resilient.

A church family and church people can fill in the gap and become the support system children of divorce need. Surround them with love, a listening ear and scriptures that provide encouragement.

We know many children that have been through DC4K, a faith-based group support program, have come out on the other side resilient and better able to cope with the loss of their once intact family.

How have you helped a child of divorce be resilient?


DC4K blogs posts are great to use in training children’s leaders and volunteers and they are free.  Subscribe to the DC4K blog here.

Want to learn more about how to start a DivorceCare for Kids group for the hurting children in your community? Click here.

Did you know DC4K blog articles are on Pinterest? Divorce & Kids, Children’s Pastors, Single Parents, etc. It’s all there. Check it out here




4 thoughts on “Are children of divorce resilient?

  1. So blessed I have been able to stay at home to provide what is needed to keep them going. Pouring of the word, example of turning to God in our ups and downs, and just time listening. I feel most use this as an excuse to do what they wanted to do anyway. All leaving do not want to realize the amount of time and effort needed for kids to be resilient in Divorce and those left know but are now forced to be apart from the children in ways never before experienced or their time is now taken up with so many other things that come with divorce. Resilience does not just appear when you walk out the door. My husband (separated 17 months) says this about our children when I talk about the effects of his leaving, They will be fine they are resilient but calling every Tuesday night and every 2nd and 4th weekend of the month and saying “Okay” when they refuse to be with you and then going about your already made plans does not make resilient kids. So many are needed to step into the life of a single parent and the life of their. To stand in the gap for these and to show the only way resilience is built through the Lord Jesus Christ. Please help anyway you can. A phone call, lunch after service, a gift card from a grocery store, a card, a scripture sent, a offer of family time at your home for modeling, a holiday spent with you and yours. Involve your self and invite!!

    • Rebekah, thanks for sharing your heart. I pray church leaders will read your comment and act. Yes many are needed in the church to step in and help. What you state is the support system these kids need and they need it today and tomorrow and many more tomorrows.

      Linda J

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