A single parent TV reality show at your church?


Reality TV

What if a divorced single parent family suddenly showed up at your church and un be known to you, they were involved in a T.V. reality show?


When you found out, how would you handle things any differently than when you didn’t know? Stop and think about that for a few minutes.

What attitude would you betray when you didn’t know?

Most of you are probably saying, “It doesn’t make any difference as I love all children. I would welcome them like other children.” Really? Seriously? Because I’ve been at various children’s minister’s conferences and I see your faces and expressions when I ask about how you accommodate the child of divorce. The look on your face tells the real story.

These are some of the comments I get.

  • We don’t have any children in our community from divorced families.
  • We aren’t allowed to say the word “divorce” in our church. I really do want to work with them but my hands are tied.
  • Oh! Those kids! They are too out of control for me. No thank you!
  • We tried but divorce kids don’t show up consistently and their parent never knew what was going on.
  • I want to reach out but honestly I don’t understand the whole divorce thing. I mean do they go through stages or what?

Here’s how I’d like to address some of these comments.

  • Are you aware that nationally one in three children live in a single parent home?  No matter what community you live in, there should be children from a single parent homes in your community. If your church is reaching out to the community at large, then in reality you should have one in three children in your church classes from a single parent home.
  • Have you tried using statistics for your area with your church leadership? How about finding a successful adult child of divorce and letting them tell your church leadership about what can happen when a church reaches out to the child of divorce?
  • How about introducing church leadership about the higher incidence of the kids who end up in jail, teen pregnancies or suicide victims and how the majority of these kids come from divorced homes. What might happen if your church reached out to them?
  • Ever wonder if you might be out of control if you didn’t know where you were going to sleep each night or where you might wake up each morning? I think if I had to live the life of many of these kids from divorced homes, I’d be out of control too. How about applying some Jesus arms and love to these kids? Or take some classes or read some articles about children of divorce. (This blog has plenty of articles to pass onto church leaders and they are all free.)
  • Know why some of these kids aren’t consistent in their attendance? They go to the other parent’s home every other weekend. Why do we punish the child, when it’s the adult that is causing the problems? Or perhaps the child gets embarrassed at that annual, “attendance contest” we start up every year at the beginning of school. The second week the child of divorce is out of the running.
  • Want to learn about the child of divorce and the stages they exhibit. Read up on it.

Let’s go back to that reality show scene. If you knew you were going to be on national television, how would you handle things? Let me ask again, would you react any differently?

  • Maybe you would be kinder to the children.
  • You might do everything in your power to keep that smile on your face.
  • You might work harder at trying to register five kids from the same family but all with different last names.
  • Instead of talking to the parent, you might actually try connecting with the child in front of you.
  • You just might develop some empathy for their situation.

When the cameras were turned off, I imagine some of you would sit down and seriously rethink your position and your feelings toward children of divorce.

I hope none of you ever have to face T.V. cameras as you welcome children into your church. But why wait to find out how you would react? Sit down today, pray and think about these children, develop a plan. Communicate your plan to all of your workers and ministry team.

Many will be lost to the Kingdom if you don’t reach out to them. Christ came to save these children too or maybe especially these children, as many don’t have parents that will bring them to the cross.

For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost” Luke 19:10 (NIV)

What are you going to do differently to welcome the child of divorce and the single parent family into the folds of a loving church family?


DC4K blogs posts are great to use in training children’s leaders and volunteers and they are free.  Subscribe to the DC4K blog here.

Want to learn more about how to start a DivorceCare for Kids group for the hurting children in your community? Click here.

2 thoughts on “A single parent TV reality show at your church?

  1. I walk into church with 3 beautiful daughters and a handsome son, I remember the first few months of attending a new church people would look… I get that almost every where we go

    • Justin, thank you for sharing your testimony as a single dad and even more, thank your for taking your children to church.

      Blessings to you and your children.

      Linda J

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