Question of the week: Why do you talk so much about the single moms?


It’s true that a lot of posts we do on this site are about single moms. The simple reason is that a majority of single parents are single moms. Because of this, most of my personal experience is with single moms.

However, there are some great single dads in our society as well. More and more single dads are stepping up and either helping raise their kids in co-parenting situations or they are raising their kids alone. More women are abdicating their parental responsibility than ever before.

So let’s look at some numbers and trends related to single fathers:


  • Approximately 82.2% of custodial parents are mothers
  • 8% of custodial parents (approximately 1 in 6) are fathers
  • There are approximately 13.7 million single parents in the United States today, and those parents are responsible for raising 22 million children

There are several reasons for rise in single dad homes

  • More women are wanting to get established in their careers
  • Dads are demanding more time with their children
  • Dads are more readily going to court to fight for custody than in previous years
  • Judges are more open to giving dads full custody
  • Women are realizing single dads have higher incomes and can give their children security while the single mom attends school and finds a job

The article, “The Rise of the Single Dad” talks about how the judicial system in Oregon started awarding joint custody to most divorcing couples. Joint custody meant the child would spend equal time with each parent. The outcome of that experiment took quite a different turn than anyone expected. As dad spent more time with their kids, learning how to take care of them and parent them alone, he began to realize he could be just as good a single parent as the mom.

The judicial system in Oregon began to understand that most couples don’t want to share their children. They don’t want joint custody. Parenting with someone you fight with on a constant basis is hard.

In Oregon they learned that “Legislation that promotes joint physical custody is actually promoting single fatherhood.” (Rise of the Single Dad)

Dads began to realize they really could be good single parents. This empowered them to fight for their children. It brought to everyone’s awareness that dads could actually raise children on their own.

My personal observations about single dads

  • They take their responsibility of parenting their children alone very serious
  • They are for the most part no-nonsense parents
  • They tend to set goals and get things done in an unemotional way and get things done quickly
  • Single dads tend to involve their children more in housekeeping chores
  • If they don’t know how to do something, such as braid a girl’s hair, they figure it out or they are quick to find someone who can
  • Many will take on a different job with less pay just so they can spend more time with their children

Not all single dads have full-time custody. Many single dads do a great job of parenting when they don’t have full custody.

A successful non-custodial dad story

One single dad I ministered to was heading toward a complete failure as a part time dad. He was a military dad; had returned from deployment to a wife who wanted a divorce. With PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) from a deployment in a war zone and facing a divorce he turned to alcohol. He started drinking and drank heavily until one day he passed out. When he woke up he was in the hospital.

Someone suggested to him he come to our church. When he came to our DivorceCare he was seeing his daughter ever other weekend and sometimes on a weeknight. He wasn’t being a very good part time dad simply because he was so angry and couldn’t get past his anger.

We worked with him and prayed for him. We kept encouraging him to do his weekly bible study. We began to see improvements. We could hear positive comments in his conversations. In record time he turned around. He brought his lovely daughter to church on the weekends she was with him. He credits his relationship with Jesus Christ for turning his life around.

He got new orders and left our area a changed dad. That has been a few of years ago and to this day he stays in contact with me. Every so often I’ll get a text message telling me where the military has sent him. He has continued his walk with the Lord.






4 thoughts on “Question of the week: Why do you talk so much about the single moms?

  1. Wonderful post, Linda! Our children need their dads badly, it is heartwarming to see that men are rising to the deed instead of hearing so much about dead-beat dads. Thank you for sharing this!

  2. Thank you, Linda, for posting this info. It is always encouraging to be able to read what is happening in another persons life. May just be what is needed to turn a life around.

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