15 fears and worries single parents face



Recently in our Single and Parenting class we covered the question, “What fears and worries do you have raising your children by yourself?” Our group was quick to share from their hearts. I’ve asked this question many times at workshops and seminars.

Here are some answers I’ve garnered over the years

  1. How would I keep my kids safe? When my kids lived close by I never worried about their safety. If something happened I was just down the street but then their mother moved them seven hours away. I worry constantly about their safety. If something happens to them I can’t get there quickly.
  1. That I won’t be patient enough and I will lose my cool when I get stressed.
  1. I worry that I won’t be able to teach my boys how to be men.
  1. How will I teach my son to treat women– and what I’m going to tell him when it’s time to go on his first date? A dad should tell him those kinds of things.
  1. How am I going to pay the electric bill and keep them warm enough this winter?
  1. I’ve really thought should I give my kids up so they can have a better life (single mom who had been jailed but has found Christ and turned her life around).
  1. If I die what will happen to my kids – would my ex raise them because he would not raise them with Christian values?
  1. How will I ever feed my kids and provide for their basic needs?
  1. I have two teens; do you have any idea what it costs to raise two teens? I worry constantly about having enough funds to provide the extras like a band uniform and track uniform. I limit them to one after school activity per year but now the school is telling me they need to do more if they want to go to college. College? I’m wondering how to get them through high school.
  1. What am I going to do about afterschool care? It’s so expensive!
  1. One of my worst fears is because they go to their dads every other week, how will they stay connected at church?
  1. What am I going to do when something breaks down? I don’t know how to fix things and I don’t know whom to call.
  1. How on earth am I going to learn how to fix my daughters hair? It’s long and she wants to wear the latest braids or whatever you call those twisty things. Look at my hands – they are big and they just are too clumsy to do all those twist and stuff for little girl’s hair.
  1. When I first became a single dad I worried about what to feed my preschoolers. I didn’t know how to cook, do the laundry or any of those household kind of things.
  1. What to do when my kids gets sick– I can’t take off work and I have no one to help me.

If  you are a church leader please share these issues with other church leaders in your church. Perhaps walking in the shoes of a single parent will help others have a deeper understanding of the life of parenting alone.

If you are a single parent, consider connecting with a nearby Single & Parenting group. You’ll find lots of help to deal with issues like these. If there is not a group near you, talk to the leaders in your church about starting one. You can learn more about how to start a group here.

Single parents– what would you add to the list?



This article is updated and adapted from an article originally published on the Kids & Divorce blog on August 6, 2015.

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12 thoughts on “15 fears and worries single parents face

  1. I am the SOLE parent for my 12 year old daughter. Her father and I separated when she was six, finalized the divorce at 8, and her dad passed away when she was 10. He left no retirement, life insurance. Nothing. Being single and sharing custody is a challenge, but I find very few resources or even understanding of what it means to be the ONLY parent 24/7/365. My daughter has friends whose parents are divorced and remarried and the friend has FOUR active parents and four incomes supporting her and her activities. I feel so defeated and exhausted and hopeless trying to provide my child quality experiences in life when there’s only ME.

    • It is hard isn’t it. I understand but know that the Lord can and will provide for you and your daughter. It might not seem like it while your in the midst of it but keep your eyes fixed on Him and you’ll eventually see His blessings.

  2. How do I reassure my kids that mistakes and choices are not a genetic trait. Everyone is responsible for their own actions, and just because parents divorced doesn’t mean that the kids will divorce, too.

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