Divorce – The Post-It Note from childhood


19382599_mHow many of you have ever used post-it notes? Post-it notes are cool plus they serve a purpose. They stick and they stick to almost any substance.

I use post it notes to mark songs in books that I need to practice on the piano. When my kids were little I used them in their lunches to remind them they were loved. Sometimes nothing more than a happy face was drawn on it. I also used them to stick scriptures on the bathroom mirror or to remind them it was their dad’s weekend.

When my grandson was little he loved post-it notes. I mean he really loved them. He would go through an almost complete package in one evening. He would draw on them, cut them up and stick them all over the house. Or he tried to write words on them and hand deliver the “mail” to the other people in the house.

Recently I was thinking about post-it notes and also about some of the emotional ramifications divorce has on a child.

  • Broken hearted
  • Worthlessness
  • A feeling of not being loved
  • Feeling alone and lonely
  • Lack of trust in adults

I came to the conclusion that divorce is the post-it note that sticks to a child and it sticks to them for many years. That is unless someone or something can help the child reconcile their feelings and restore hope.

Only God and a relationship with Jesus Christ can truly remove the glue that sticks the divorce on a child. However, as children’s leaders and helpers we can be the way that points the child to God and introduces them to a relationship with Christ.

We can be God’s instruments.

The tongue that brings healing is the tree of life. Proverbs 15:4 (NIV)

We can help a child to know he or she is worthwhile and loved.

I’ve never quit loving you and never will.
 Expect love, love, and more love! Jeremiah 31:3b (Message)

We can show them and model to them what kindness looks like and feels like in their troubled world.

I led them with cords of human kindness, with ties of love; I lifted the yoke from their neck
and bent down to feed them. Hosea 11:4 (NIV)

We can be the person that helps them to feel safe and comforted to the point they learn to trust again.

Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. John 14:1 (NIV note: Trust – the antidote for a troubled heart.)

We might be the one person in their life that helps them understand they can move forward; that they will get through this time; and that there is someone who will stay with them and be with them and give them hope.

He gives strength to the weary 
and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
 they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:29-31 (NIV)


This article is updated and adapted from an article originally published on the Kids & Divorce blog on Oct. 14, 2014.

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