DC4K » visitation

Question of the week: Do you have any advice for parents to help children who rotate between two homes?

I was recently asked this question on Facebook. I know nothing about the individual situation that prompted this question so I can only answer in generalities. Here are a few ideas that will help all children. Share them with the single parents you know and minister to: Keep a calendar in a prominent place so the child can see it. Remind the Read more…

Posted: January 30th, 2019 ˑ 2 Comments
Filled under: Co-parenting, Divorce Issues, KidMin, Question of the week, School Issues, Visitation

Understanding visitation arrangements

I attend a lot of children and family ministry conferences. I’m also part of several KidMin Facebook pages so I get a lot of questions about children of divorce. Here are three questions children’s pastors asked about visitation issues. I understand the ‘every other weekend’ visitation schedule. I understand a child visiting the other parent on holidays and during the summer. But we Read more…

Posted: January 28th, 2019 ˑ No Comments
Filled under: Co-parenting, Divorce Issues, Family Ministers, KidMin, Modern families, Visitation

Ten tips to create an every-other-weekend home for the child of divorce

Many times, we concentrate on the single-parent home where a child resides. But there are thousands of part-time single parents. These are the situations when the kids come to visit on the weekend. Part-time single parents need help and suggestions to create an emotionally and spiritually healthy environment for the kids. This information in this blog is to help single parents whose kids Read more…

Posted: July 13th, 2018 ˑ No Comments
Filled under: Divorce Issues, Modern families, Single Parents, Visitation

It’s hard when kids leave for visitation. How can you help the single parent?

This is a tough issue. I have to confess I didn’t handle this one very well when I was a single parent. The first few times my children left for the weekend, I was lost and hurting. I have learned over the years how to approach this dilemma. This is one of those issues that unless you’ve experienced it or walked with Read more…

Posted: May 30th, 2018 ˑ 2 Comments
Filled under: Divorce Issues, Single Parents, Stress, Summer, Visitation

Need tips to help a child transition to the other parent’s home for the summer?

Depending on where you live, children will be getting out of school in the next few days and weeks. This means many children will be traveling across the country or town to spend the summer with their other parent. How do children’s pastors and church leaders help these kids have a good send-off? You may want them to understand you will miss Read more…

Posted: May 21st, 2018 ˑ 1 Comment
Filled under: Co-parenting, Single Parents, Step and blended families, Stress, Visitation

When kids travel to visit their non-custodial parent: The disconnect

The other day, I took a walk on the beach in the early morning and happened upon a dad and son. The little boy, who appeared to be about four, was frolicking in the waves and splashing water everywhere. As I approached the scene, I could tell what was going on. I’d seen it so many times before. It was summer visitation between Read more…

Posted: June 26th, 2017 ˑ No Comments
Filled under: Accept the Challenge, Divorce Issues, Summer, Visitation

How long is a “minute” for the child of divorce?

For children of divorce, a minute can feel like an eternity, or it can zip by at lightning speed. Their perception of time’s passage is colored by the events in their lives—visitation with the other parent or the pain of a particular situation. Why? Let me paint a picture for you. A typical conversation in the house of an eight-year-old boy on Read more…

Posted: May 30th, 2017 ˑ No Comments
Filled under: Co-parenting, Divorce Issues, Emotions, Single Parents, Stress

Should single parents quiz their kids about life at the other parent’s home?

I caution single parents to be careful about questioning what goes on in the other home. Kids of divorce can very quickly discern they have the “power” and will use it as a game. They may delight in watching you squirm as they tattle on the other parent. They will do the same at the other home. If you have allowed this game to get started, Read more…

Posted: October 10th, 2016 ˑ 2 Comments
Filled under: Co-parenting, Divorce Issues, Question of the week, Single Parents

Does spring break mean heartache for some kids of divorce?

Little girl in a red dress sitting on a boardwalk hugging teddybear, view from behind

Hear what kids of divorce have to say about spring break. In my area of the country, it is officially spring break time. By that, I mean all the college kids are coming to our area to enjoy the beaches. Families are flocking to our area to celebrate spring in the warm sunshine. In the news media when you hear about spring break, Read more…

Posted: March 30th, 2016 ˑ No Comments
Filled under: Divorce Issues, Grandparents, Holidays, Single Parents, Step and blended families, Visitation

Question of the week: How do I help a stepdad who has gotten close to his stepsons and now the wife wants a divorce?

“He has been the only dad these kids have known. He has taken care of them physically, financially, has taken them to school each day and to church every Sunday. He loves them as his own. These boys love him and they are going to be devastated when the divorce happens. The sons don’t know about the divorce. What can I say to Read more…

Posted: November 10th, 2014 ˑ No Comments
Filled under: Divorce Issues, Grandparents, Question of the week, Single Parents, Step and blended families, Stress

Question of the week: Why are rituals important for the child of divorce?

“I’ve heard you speak at children’s ministry conferences about rituals and the child of divorce. What I want to know is why are rituals so important for the child of divorce?” Almost all children are ritual-makers. They automatically create rituals when they say hello or goodbye and for many other situations. Rituals help children connect with the people in their lives whether it Read more…

Posted: August 4th, 2014 ˑ 2 Comments
Filled under: Accept the Challenge, Divorce Issues, Single Parents