DC4K » Stress

Why kids of divorce don’t feel safe and what you can do about it

Here is where many of us go wrong, we expect the child of divorce, who is caught up in an emotional train wreck, to function like any other kid. Doing school work, memorizing Scripture, answering questions about stories, and behaving appropriately may be almost impossible for children of divorce. Why? Their bodies are poised to respond to outside stimuli and interactions with fear. Read more…

Posted: April 8th, 2020 ˑ 6 Comments
Filled under: Brain Research, Discipline, Emotions, Research, School Issues, Stress

Emotional concussions can be just as lethal, and sometimes even more so, than a physical concussion

Have you ever considered the term emotional concussion? Have you ever thought about what might be involved in an emotional concussion? Emotional concussions occur when young children Live in homes controlled by alcohol, drugs, explosive tempers Live in homes full of stress Live with dysfunctional adults Have exposure to people who are physically, emotionally, and/or sexually abusive Experience the divorce of their parents From Read more…

Posted: January 21st, 2019 ˑ 1 Comment
Filled under: Accept the Challenge, Discipline, Divorce Issues, Emotions, Family Ministers, Grandparents, KidMin, Single Parents, Stress, Trauma

Why children of divorce feel helpless – and how “choices” can help

One of the tragedies of divorce for children is the feeling of helplessness. Many adults who experienced their parents’ divorce report that, as children, they felt powerless and vulnerable. For the children it seems as though everything is out of control. Changing routines People moving out Things and belongings disappearing People disappearing such as neighbors if there is a move And this is Read more…

Posted: July 30th, 2018 ˑ 2 Comments
Filled under: Brain Research, Discipline, Divorce Issues, Emotions, Grief, Research, School Issues, Single Parents, Stress, Trauma

8 fun and easy tips to help children release stress and get rid of anger

Many children of divorce will experience tremendous stress. These children may express their stress through angry behavior. When a child is stressed and living in the survival mode or the fight or flight part of the brain they are incapable of learning, processing information or functioning in a reasonable manner. It becomes all about surviving in the moment. When you can get Read more…

Posted: May 7th, 2018 ˑ 1 Comment
Filled under: Brain Research, Discipline, Divorce Issues, Emotions, School Issues, Stress, Trauma

Want children free of stress and oozing kindness?

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if every little kid who had divorcing parents or had experienced trauma of some sort showed up in your class stress free? Imagine a group where There is no fighting, arguing, or yelling. All the kids want to be involved. They want to form community. They care for one another. The group oozes kindness. Impossible, you say? I beg Read more…

Posted: April 23rd, 2018 ˑ 2 Comments
Filled under: Discipline, Single Parents, Stress

The big overwhelming variable that causes kids of divorce anxiety

Many things affect children when parents divorce. However, there is one big, overwhelming variable that causes kids of divorce angst and anxiety—and that is when parents continue to fight and war with each other. Parental conflict affects children for many years to come. When parents continue to fight, that does several things to the children in the family. Many times, kids are Read more…

Posted: April 19th, 2018 ˑ No Comments
Filled under: Death of a marriage, Divorce Issues, Emotions, Research, Single Parents, Step and blended families, Visitation

Incredible amazing brain Part 3: Sweet kid or grumpy kid, which do you prefer?

Ever have a sweet, little kid run up to you, throw his arms around you, and tell you how much he missed you this week? Ever have a grumpy, little kid snarl at you as he enters the classroom? He slides past you, goes over to the corner, and sits down. You already know from past experience that this kid is going to Read more…

Posted: July 19th, 2017 ˑ 2 Comments
Filled under: Brain Research, Discipline, Divorce Issues, Emotions, Research, Stress, Trauma

Empowering the helpless and vulnerable child

One of the tragedies of living in fractured families and the break up of a child’s home is the feeling of helplessness. Many adults who experienced the divorce of their parents report that, as children, they felt powerless and vulnerable. We now realize that the loss of dignity was another issue for many of these adults when they were children experiencing the break Read more…

Posted: February 1st, 2017 ˑ 1 Comment
Filled under: Accept the Challenge, Discipline, Divorce Issues, Emotions, Stress

How to help children maintain dignity

This past weekend found me taking care of a couple kids whose single mom had to work. I really don’t mind these cute little girls spending the day with me at my house. I’ve kind of adopted these elementary age girls as my grandchildren. These girls have had a pretty rough time in their short lives. They were away from their mom for Read more…

Posted: January 25th, 2017 ˑ 3 Comments
Filled under: Accept the Challenge, Brain Research, Discipline, Divorce Issues, Single Parents, Stress, Whirlwind Kids

Two big mistakes we make with stressed-out children of divorce!

Many children living in divorcing single parent homes experience tremendous stress leading to some out of control behaviors. When they come to your church, your volunteers question what on earth could be causing these kids to act like this? They may wonder if there is any discipline in the home at all. It is not that their parent is a bad parent or Read more…

Posted: January 12th, 2017 ˑ 12 Comments
Filled under: Brain Research, Discipline, Divorce Issues, Preschool, School Issues, Stress, Whirlwind Kids

Helping kids process public tragedy and terror

Many children will hear about the recent attacks or other frightening events such as widespread fires, weather-related events, or horrific events experienced in other places. Parents will be struggling about what to say and how much to say. Having owned a child care facility in Oklahoma during the time of the Oklahoma City bombing, I would like to share some tips we Read more…

Posted: March 25th, 2016 ˑ No Comments
Filled under: Disasters, Modern families, Stress, Trauma

Do you have kids who have experienced an “emotional concussion?”

In our world today many children experience what is known as an emotional concussion. Emotional concussions can be just as lethal, and sometimes even more so, than a physical concussion. Emotional concussions occur when young children Live in homes controlled by alcohol, drugs, explosive tempers Live in homes full of stress Live with dysfunctional adults Have exposure to people who are physically, emotionally, Read more…

Posted: February 5th, 2015 ˑ 7 Comments
Filled under: Brain Research, Discipline, Divorce Issues, Emotions, Research, Stress

Family Sculpturing and the Balloon Demonstration: visualizing with impact (Group KidMin 2013 Conference demos)

Kidmin and children’s ministers want a lot of hands on, visual and role-play kind of presentations. Two of my favorite demonstrations in to use in teaching about the child of divorce and used at the Group KidMin conference were Family sculpturing The balloon stress demo Family Sculpturing In the family sculpturing we have participants role-play different parts. We have a Child Mother Father Read more…

Posted: October 23rd, 2013 ˑ 4 Comments
Filled under: Accept the Challenge, Conferences, Discipline, Divorce Issues, Single Parents