DC4K » Choices

He was so angry he couldn’t sit still!

Ever seen a kid so mad about his parent’s separation or divorce that he couldn’t even sit still for a minute? I had a nine year-old boy like this last a few years ago. He started our DC4K group in September and he oozed anger. He literally couldn’t make his body be still. Anger was etched on his face. Anger was in his movements. Read more…

Posted: February 26th, 2019 ˑ 6 Comments
Filled under: Discipline, Divorce Issues, Emotions, Grandparents, Stress

What you focus on, you get more of – think discipline!

Screen Shot 2014-11-04 at Nov-4-14-2.46.39 PM

I facilitate a DC4K, DivorceCare for Kids, group at my church. We have 14 kids registered. Some of the kids are already in step family situations. Some have half siblings. Some live with a grandparent, and all have experienced either a divorce or a separation of their birth parents. We have children from kindergarten through fifth grade in our group. Mixed ages work Read more…

Posted: October 24th, 2018 ˑ 4 Comments
Filled under: Brain Research, Discipline, Divorce Issues, Emotions, Step and blended families, Trauma

Why children of divorce feel helpless – and how “choices” can help

One of the tragedies of divorce for children is the feeling of helplessness. Many adults who experienced their parents’ divorce report that, as children, they felt powerless and vulnerable. For the children it seems as though everything is out of control. Changing routines People moving out Things and belongings disappearing People disappearing such as neighbors if there is a move And this is Read more…

Posted: July 30th, 2018 ˑ 2 Comments
Filled under: Brain Research, Discipline, Divorce Issues, Emotions, Grief, Research, School Issues, Single Parents, Stress, Trauma

Empowering the helpless and vulnerable child

One of the tragedies of living in fractured families and the break up of a child’s home is the feeling of helplessness. Many adults who experienced the divorce of their parents report that, as children, they felt powerless and vulnerable. We now realize that the loss of dignity was another issue for many of these adults when they were children experiencing the break Read more…

Posted: February 1st, 2017 ˑ 1 Comment
Filled under: Accept the Challenge, Discipline, Divorce Issues, Emotions, Stress

How to help children maintain dignity

This past weekend found me taking care of a couple kids whose single mom had to work. I really don’t mind these cute little girls spending the day with me at my house. I’ve kind of adopted these elementary age girls as my grandchildren. These girls have had a pretty rough time in their short lives. They were away from their mom for Read more…

Posted: January 25th, 2017 ˑ 3 Comments
Filled under: Accept the Challenge, Brain Research, Discipline, Divorce Issues, Single Parents, Stress, Whirlwind Kids

How a 15 year survives his great aunt!

In the previous post I shared the boundaries and conditions of my 15 year-old great nephew living in my home. In this post I’d like to share with you the outcome of him becoming part of my family. If you are church leaders or you work with children who might be living with grandparents or other relatives, please share this post with them. Read more…

Posted: July 17th, 2015 ˑ 2 Comments
Filled under: Accept the Challenge, Discipline, Divorce Issues, Emotions, Grandparents, School Issues, Single Parents

Yikes! The day a 15 year old came to live with me

It was my great nephew and he was in a lot of trouble. I think he thought I’d be a push over. I mean in his eyes I was his great aunt, gray and old! Boy did life ever change for that boy! I may have been his great aunt, gray and old but the lights hadn’t gone out yet. Plus I had Read more…

Posted: July 16th, 2015 ˑ 7 Comments
Filled under: Accept the Challenge, Discipline, Divorce Issues, Grandparents, School Issues, Single Parents, Trauma