Archive for the ‘Preschool’ Category
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Bottom line – kids need boundaries and hope to succeed in life
Single parents need to clearly, positively and assertively communicate boundaries to children. But in order to do this single parents must be able to have boundaries in place for themselves. Why are boundaries and guidelines so important to children? To help you understand the why of boundaries, let’s take a little trip. Let’s say that we have to go to an appointment. Read more…
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The importance of collections to the child of divorce
All kids like to collect things. Rocks, bugs, jewels, stamps, coins, and other small items become important to children. Sometimes the items are silly, fun things, while other times there might be a purpose to the art of collecting certain items. Some children turn their collections into hobbies. Boys who collect baseball cards and other sports memorabilia are good examples of collecting Read more…
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A child carries the treasures of his life hidden in his pocket
When children lose connections with important people in their lives, they may become attached to their “things.” Things and possessions bring a sense of comfort, control, and order to children’s lives. These things become substitutes for deep connections with parents and other loved ones. They replace many of the rituals they held important before life changed. I had the privilege of knowing one Read more…
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Where Did He Go?
The teacher looked on as four-year-old Elsa clung to her mom and screamed, Don’t weave me, Mommy. Please don’t weave me. The teacher was confused because little Elsa had always loved coming to her Sunday school class. Mom seemed at a loss as to how to comfort Elsa and get her into the class. The teacher gradually moved into the scene, and with Read more…
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Question of the week: What are the causes of kids being unruly during and after a divorce?
Many things are happening in children’s lives when their parents separate or divorce. Children don’t understand adult problems, and even though a lot of their friends have divorced parents, many children simply don’t know what the word “divorce” means. All they know is their parents were together, and now one parent is packing up to leave. In Divorced Kids by Laurene Johnson Read more…
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“Breakthrough” strategy for single parent and blended family success
What if I shared with you that you have the power to change interactions between parents and children in single-parent and blended-family homes? What if this I told you it is a suggestion that single parents and blended parents can incorporate very easily into their schedule? What is this miracle I’m talking about that will change children’s lives and help single dads and Read more…
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Question of the week: How do I help a single parent with a young child who screams when being left on Sunday mornings?
Helping the single parent of a young child can be difficult when there is upheaval going on in the home. A children’s minister friend experienced this to me and sent me the following scenario. The mom was bringing her young son to church, but the little boy didn’t want to stay. “We’ve assigned one person to accept this little boy, and even if Read more…
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10 Suggestions to help children acclimate after returning home from visitation
Recently, I received the following question from a church leader who works with single parents and children: “I have a single mom whose young children, ages three and five, have been visiting their dad for the last six weeks. They come back Saturday. Do you have any advice I can give her as they transition back into her home?” First of all, I Read more…
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Question of the week: What are you supposed to do when you suddenly have your child full-time for 4-6 weeks?
Hundreds of children’s ministers, DivorceCare leaders, and Single & Parenting facilitators are being asked this question right now as summer visitation interrupts the lives of many kids and parents. Let’s clarify what many single parents are worried about. It might sound something like this: “I live far away and don’t get to have my children very much. Now it’s summer, and I just Read more…
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Why kids of divorce don’t feel safe (Part 2)
Children of divorce might not trust you. And in children’s ministry, that’s a real problem. I want to show you how to build their trust. Establishing trusting relationships will enable you to meaningfully minister to these kids. Why children of divorce have trouble with trust When children fear something, they want and expect the adults in their lives to protect them and keep Read more…
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Question of the week: How can I help my nursery worker who is experiencing a divorce?
Recently, I got the following question from a children’s pastor. “I have a nursery worker who I found out is experiencing a divorce. I don’t know how to help her. She is one of my best nursery workers, and she has been in our nursery for years. I’m worried her personal situation is going to affect how she interacts with our infants Read more…
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Questions single parents have about disciplining their kids: how you can help
Single parents frequently ask me for help disciplining their children. Remember, single parents are doing it alone and have no one in the house to help them parent late at night or during the day. It can get overwhelming, to say the least. Here are eight examples of questions I get about parenting alone. Sometimes, single parents need more in-depth answers depending, Read more…
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Two big mistakes we make with stressed-out children of divorce!
Many children living in divorcing single parent homes experience tremendous stress leading to some out of control behaviors. When they come to your church, your volunteers question what on earth could be causing these kids to act like this? They may wonder if there is any discipline in the home at all. It is not that their parent is a bad parent or Read more…
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Is it better for parents to divorce when children are young or wait until the kids are older?
There are no good or right times for parents to divorce. Research shows and my experience has been that the younger the child is the more times they will process the divorce. In other words if their parents divorce when they are preschool or younger upon entering the public school arena they may question why other kids live with two parents but Read more…
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A preschool child questions, “Where did he go?”
The teacher looked on as four-year old Elsa clung to her mom and screamed, “Don’t weave me mommy. Please don’t weave me.” The teacher was confused because little Elsa had always loved coming to her Sunday school class. Mom seemed at a loss as to how to comfort Elsa and get her into the class. The teacher gradually moved into the scene and Read more…
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Heart Handshakes?
All kids need hugs! However, when a divorce happens in a family many times the kids lost in the shuffle moving between homes. Or the because of the stress in the lives of the parents, the children’s needs get put on hold. You might say kids lose their hugs. The heart felt moments between parent and child become few and far between and Read more…
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How Divorce Affects Preschool Age Children
As a three to five year old child it is hard to understand what is happening when one parent moves out of the home. Parents may have told the child they were getting a divorce and daddy (or mommy) was moving out but a child has no concept of what this means or what the word divorce means. This leaves the child in Read more…
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A result of the “Where Did He Go?” article in K magazine
Before the article, “Where Did He Go?” was published in the latest “K”Magazine, a children’s minister contacted Tina Houser, the editor of “K” Magazine. This children’s pastor needed some information on helping a three-year old little boy. Following is some of our conversation. I think you will appreciate this children’s pastor’s story. Children’s Pastor’s request I am a children’s pastor and I am Read more…
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Where Did He Go?
The teacher looked on, as 4-year-old Elsa clung to her mom and screamed, “Don’t weave me. Mommy. Please don’t weave me.” the teacher was confused because little Elsa had always loved coming to her Sunday school class. Mom seemed at a loss as to how to comfort Elsa and get her into the class. The teach gradually moved into the scene, and with Read more…